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3 Bumps

i don't know what to believe....

I had to use my husbands phone this morning while he was sleeping to check our bank account online, my phone kept crashing. As I type in www it came up what sites he had typed in. There were a bunch of mobile porn sites. I admit,I don't like him watching it, it really bothers me and he knows it, but I try to not let it get to me (even though it does!). So I went to his history to see how often, and when hes watching it, and its his most viewed pages. I also found that he had been looking at personals on craigslist!!! I flipped, and left the house for the day. He said that he was looking at the personals because they are funny. And I asked about the porn, and he said the guys at work ask him if his phone can watch porn since it has the net, so thats why its on there so much. He said he does look at it because I dont give him sex enough and he needs a release. I'm so disgusted at everything and dont know what to do or say to him

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • At least he was honest about why he was using it. I'm not sure if he was honest about people at work using his phone. I understand why you would be upset. Stay open with him. Make sure without yelling how it offends you. Also listen to his side and try to be understanding but stick to your guns.
    Jenaiko01

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 8:01 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Men go that route when they are not getting sex at home all I can say is be there sexually for him no matter if you don't want to make yourself especially if he is a good provider husband father a very good man deserves his sex. That is how I handle it sorry if I couldn't help but it is your choice. I don't believe he is hiding anything from you a man has to do what he has to do now if he was cheating that is a different story. GL I bet if you start doing your wifely duties everything will change for the better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • i've been in this exact situation more than once with my husband... its painful... i also heard many excuses, but he never blamed me for it... after a few years of it, we started attending sex anonymous support groups, which helped us alot... good luck...
    babymar

    Answer by babymar at 8:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • i don't know what to believe....

    He said that he was looking at the personals because they are funny...THIS IS A LIE

    he said the guys at work ask him if his phone can watch porn since it has the net, so thats why its on there so much.....ANOTHER LIE

    He said he does look at it because I dont give him sex enough and he needs a release.....BLAME THE OTHER PERSON-TYPICAL OF AN ADDICT

    I'm so disgusted at everything..........OF COURSE YOU ARE- HE IS GROSS -AND LOOKING TO CHEAT_POSSIBLY

    dont know what to do .....YOU LEFT GOOD-THIS WAS THE FIRST MESSAGE...
    NOW WHAT to say to him...??? I do not know-BIT YOU NEED TO STAND YOUR GROUND

    good luck, went through situstion like this, we did conseling, did not work, i left him, hope you do better, KNOW THAT YOU CAN NOT FIX IT=HE HAS TO REALIZE PROBLEM AND WANT TO CHANGE

    God bless you, i feel for you since i have been through

    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:07 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I bet if you start doing your wifely duties everything will change for the better.
    ===========================================================
    you are so wrong, must have have been through this!
    This is NOT her fault in any way shape or form!!
    I gave and gave to my "man" and this did not dent his porn addiction one bit, in fact, he wanted more and wanted me to perform the acts he saw on porn (NOT regular acts either, very extreme things

    AND the therapist with all the letters after her name aggreed with me, THIS IS HIS ISSUE
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:10 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I don't believe he is hiding anything from you a man has to do what he has to do now if he was cheating that is a different story
    ======================
    do you really think he is looking at dating/sex profiles and personals because they are funny!!?? COME ON, he is looking because he is thinking of hooking up, or he is hooking up

    who cares what kind of previder he is! this woman should not sell herself for what cash he makes, if he makes a lot of money, should she put up with more dishonesty - i think NOT
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:14 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • @flatpax I am sorry you went through it the worse way the guy you were with sounds like he had a very serious problem. but in some cases I am right atleat this is what my dh told me we'll be watching something that has to do with someone who cheated the first thing he says he or she was not happy at home or they were not getting their sex when wanted. I mean everyone is different GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • eh...i think he's being pretty honest and you should cut him some slack. im a big believer in giving your SO sex anytime they want it (unless there is some serious health issue) even if you dont want to. alot of times when i dont feel like it actually end up being the best! most guys are going to look at porn, especially if they arent satisfied with thier sex life. and the personals ARE funny! if you dont have any other reason to think he's cheating, he probably WASNT looking to meet anyone. and the guys at my SO's work really DO borrow his phone to look at porn, i've SEEN it happen. they dont want to use thier own phones and get caught by THEIR wives...lol.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 8:23 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • i do not see him as being honest
    i see him as caught and making excuses
    just my opinion
    sure hope i am wrong

    but i do think she is not responsbile for him acting like this, she could be the best sex kitten, and he would still be doing this
    just my opinion
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:40 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Ah, so, he's going to let them use HIS phone, so HE gets caught by HIS wife, when he knows she doesn't like it? He's willing to put the guys at work before his own wife? Because that's exactly what he's doing, IF he's telling the truth about them using his phone to look at porn. He's got that much free time at work, to look at personals on CL, for kicks and giggles? That's rich.
    Personally, I think there's some truth to what he's telling, but some lies. Otherwise, it would be so wildly obvious he's lying.
    I also do not think a wife should just lay down and open her legs every damn time her husband/so 'wants' sex. That is not what a relationship is for. I think that is a lack of respect to expect it.
    OP, you need to have a serious discussion with him. If he's going to continue to put his coworkers ahead of you (them using his phone), then there should be something worked out. In my marriage, that would NOT work.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:00 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

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