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Are you really forgiving if you dont forget?

When you bring to mind someones wrong doing are you really forgiving them. When you forgive you cease to feel resentment (dictonary definition) but if you're remembering their mistakes your going to feel that resentment and pain again.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (21)
  • I feel if you forgive you can still rember just don't hold that person down with it keep it with you in the sence if they hurt you and said sorry you feel to forgive them ok but if it keeps happening don't forget it by letting it happen again. Move on -forgive don't hold that grudge ..

    Answer by mamagator at 8:49 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • No, you cannot forgive when you can't forget. I don't know what idiot came up with that concept but it just ain't happening. And yes, I forgive for yourself but it still doesn't take away what the other person did to you or the images you now have in your head. The only way to really forgive is to take the person or thing that caused the situation out of your picture. That's where another cliche comes to mind..."out of sight, out of mind."

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:50 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. forgiveness is for yourself, not for them. it allows you to move past the anger, hurt, resentment, etc in your heart and life, but nothing ever takes away the memories. once you forgive, it is easier to recall a past hurt and not let it keep you down.

    Answer by babymar at 8:51 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • As humans it is very hard to forget what happened, especially in the case of rape or something serious. I think you can learn to forgive and if it is remembered, not get the same reaction you did before you forgave the person. In less horrific offenses I think it is easier to forget and can be done. Both take work and dedication to it sometimes, forgiving over and over and over if need be. God will help.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 8:53 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I heard a story about forgiving I will share.... There was a little girl that loved to ring the church bell. When she got older she was harmed and became very resentful. She asked the priest what she should do. "I have forgiven but I can't forget "'she reported to him.Every time I think about it I am hurt. I get angry all over again because of the pain... "Well child do you remember ringing the bell when you were a little girl? When you pull the rope and the bell rings, does the sound stop as soon as you let it go.?" "No" she said....Forgiveness is like that bell when you ring it it is loud and the sound fades . Anytime you want to feel the pain again just pull the rope ..

    Answer by KISS1224 at 8:57 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Forgive means to pardon wrongdoing that has been done to you. Do you have to forget it? There usually is aftermath of the wrongdoing whether you forgive or not.
    Does a mother get her son back, even though she forgave his killer? Does she forget that?

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:04 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • No. You can forgive and let go of any resentment without having to forget. There is a difference between learning your lesson and remembering and holding on to negativity.

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 9:10 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • No.

    Having gone through this process a few times I know I can remember the deed without remembering the upset and such that went along with it at the beginning.


    Answer by Amaranth361 at 9:24 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I was about to type almost the exact same thing Bandgeek521 said. I agree that letting go of the pain and resentment is good, but sometimes you need to remember to learn something from it.

    Answer by pam19 at 9:30 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Forgiving and Forgetting are WAY two different things! My favorite saying is "To Forgive is Divine; To Forget is Dumb"

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:33 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

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