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3 Bumps

How can I find out if he's cheating?

I've just caught my husband doing filthy talk with multiple online sluts and visiting several forums for such things. Now I need to know how to find out if he's actually cheating on me in person...any ideas? We only have one car so I can't tail him when he goes out (which isn't often anyway) and there is no money for a P.I.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • E-mails, cell phone, texts etc. Alot of men stop at online because its not "actually" cheating to them. Have a friend follow him for awhile?

    Answer by bjojola at 10:36 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Check his cellphone or your cellphone bill for numbers you don't recognize. I'd hire a babysitter and just check to see if he's actually going where he says he's going. Tell him you're going with him at the last minute once in a while. See how he reacts. I'd check the mileage on his car and watch for things that don't add up. Check your credit cards for charges you don't now what they are for. I know some won't agree with me, but if you really are concerned, I'd even check his wallet once in a while for anything suspicious.

    If you can't afford a PI and you aren't able to follow him. Hire a friend or ask one to do some following once in a while. The more people you get involved though could backfire on you and he could find out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I WENT THROUGH THIS SAME THING except i was in korea for 6 months so we were apart so i found all this when i came home. he swears he didnt cheat that he almost did but decided not to show up i still dnt no if i believe him. but he told me that he had a sick problem "talking to whores online" he was doing it before we were together so it was like nothing to him to do it. i found like 10 dif email accounts he had i kicked him out the house i was pissed and we had a 3 month old at the time. he realized he was going to lose it all and i wasnt putting up w it and asked if we could go to marriage counseling. It still bothers me from time to time but I know now that im all he wants even though its still hard to trust him i still get defensive sometimes if hes not home on time or something. but i no he stopped everything i deleted all email accounts he dnt use the internet on his phone nothing!!!! I would confront him

    Answer by Alyson_Torres09 at 10:45 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I would keep it to myself at first. Do you have a friend that would trust you with their vehicle? If so get them to watch the kids while you do the PI stuff.

    Answer by arenad at 10:48 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Sorry to say, but if you feel in your gut that he is cheating, he probably is. maybe not in person, YET. But it will get there, I'm sure. If you want to have one of your friends follow him, check the mileage etc, do it. But you need to start thinking about YOU and what you deserve, and it is not this.. even if it is just online, he has the itch to do it in person. Online or not, he is disrespecting you and your family. I would start to mentally prepare to leave him... Like I said, even if he hasnt done it in person yet, it wont be long before he does..

    Just so you know, catching him red-handed soesnt make it any easier to leave.

    Good luck, and KNOW that you deserve more.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 11:19 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Catching my husband on-line chatting with "filthy sluts" is already cheating in my book. I doubt you'll really be ready to believe he's cheating unless you catch him in the act.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:32 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • First search yourself. If you think he's cheating he probably is. Plain out ask him. If he denies it, check his cell phone bill,credit cards. pockets, lunch box anything or anyplace he could hide something. Men are reckless and eventually leave clues. If he buys new underwear that really is a big clue. If he says she's just my friend....remember men who have a female friend that you don't know about or hang out with aren't their friend. Men are sexual and visual....the other woman may not win their heart so they feel they aren't cheating. They are just getting what they need. Most men cheat. It is a pain that never goes away for the non cheater. It is so hurtful. Here you are in love with them and in the relationship and they are outside of it destroying it behind your back. It hits you like a ton of bricks. You have no one to turn to they have their new friend. All you want is comfort from them but they are with someone else.

    Answer by kmm1 at 7:29 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

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