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"You're gonna get it when we get home" what? Please explain

So no one would answer this in the many spanking debates. They are very anti spanking. But often say that their kids know what it means when they get "the look" like "you're gonna pay when we get home"..... What does this mean for you honestly? What do your kids think it means? Just stuff taken away? A huge chew out in the car or at home? I'm curious. Anonymous answerers, Welcome. I'd really like to know the honest answer to this. IMO- This concerns me more than a mother spanking in public. Because she disciplines the same as when she's at home and is not worried about being "politically correct". What happens when the kids get home and they are going to "get it" as said?

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thelowlander

Asked by thelowlander at 2:45 AM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,349 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I don't use that, but DS is still pretty young. I would rather deal with it on the spot, either by leaving (if possible), or taking him out of the situation for a breather. Often times, that's all he needs.
    I'm also anti-spanking.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 2:50 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • If I were to say that to my son, which I can't honestly recall saying, it would mean I would spank him. I don't spank in public because there are so many anti-spanking people and I really don't care to have people calling security on me.
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 2:51 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • We don't spank though sometimes I want to, but getting into the whys on that gets long and complicated. My daughter is three so punishment is usually pretty immediate and we try to focus more on natural consequences. IE- you ran away from mom in the grocery store so now you have to ride in the cart or you won't put your shoes on so we don't get to go to the park after we're done. Sometimes I will take away rewards if she's being PARTICULARLY terrible but most times I don't have to resort to that.
    Also we do a lot of three minute time otus. At home she has her time out spot where she likes to sit that she picked. I used to try and make her fold her arms but don't anymore and I set a timer and ignore her. When we're out and she gets a time out then I do make her fold her arms and sit still and I make it a point to ignore her until time is up.
    We ALWAYS make her say sorry and she has to tell us what for, why she was in time out.
    JadeRDragosani

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 3:02 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • You know, I have no problem with anti-spanking parents, I don't want anyone to think that, lol, but for us, our son just doesn't care about time outs, I do try taking toys away and talking things out with him but if things continue to happen spanking is a complete last resort. Anti-spanking parents are cool with me :D
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 3:06 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • i will spank! but its gotta be something drastic. and its different for all of my kids.the older one is gettin aa little to big for time out and the middle on thinks that it the most horrible thing in the world to be sent to bed.
    plus...most children that are younger dont remember an hour later what exactly they have done(in my opinion and in a parent mag i read) so i deal with on spot. i take them to the car to sit for a minute or i stop and take them home if bad enough.
    3hugsandkisses

    Answer by 3hugsandkisses at 3:12 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I dont spank, hit, etc. Never have and never will. I have told my child that when she gets home, she is in trouble which means, she is losing a privledge, going to bed, etc.
    2ndtimewish

    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 8:18 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • we dont do that. ill spank in public. or take them out of the situation. my SIL's both do this and it means a serious yelling, spankings and thigns being taken away.... id rather spank my boys then yell at them like that... physical wounds are much easier to heal with kisses and mommy time then a 30 min chew out
    2boysmommy.js

    Answer by 2boysmommy.js at 8:20 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I will spank, rarely, and have only had to do it in public once. i usually use this phrase with my older two though and they know that for us it means, say bye to the toys and the tv. i will usually first take their toys away for a week and if that doesnt work the tv goes away for 2 weeks. if i tried to use this phrase with my 2yr old though she would have no clue what i was talking about.
    tiffanyv123

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 8:53 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I think if I ever said "JUst wait untl we get home" meant that we would send them to their room and give them a big lecture and so forth. And I didn't forget to do it after we got home---I was consistent and they knew it. But,fortunately, my kids didn't act badly in public. People used to be surprised at how calm and friendly my kids were---smiling and not yelling or interrupting, no meltdowns. So, I didn't spank in public and rarely at home. We had a quiet,calm home life too. No yelling and screaming and self-centered attitudes.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 9:53 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • "Just wait until we get home" or "Your father is going to be so upset when he comes home" usually means that we're about to come up with a punishment. The punishments are usually writing sentences or cleaning. This week my husband wanted to take my oldest to work with him and make him work, trashing out a foreclosure. It's hard, dirty work.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 11:52 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

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