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Hello moms, I really need your input on this!!! adult content

My 9 year old niece is going through it in school. We all know most little girls like to dress like boys. Now the kids in school are calling her gay. She came home to talk to her mom about what does gay mean, but her mom told her to go to the principal, but as a mom, I truly feel she needs to do more which bring me to this question. Should I step in and go to the school? Being her aunt, will the principal even talk to me? My mom and I have seen a big change in her. She dreads going to school, her appetite has changed, and she look a little depressed. If I go to her school on Monday, how can I address this situation? I'm very concerned for her, and I do believe her mom is so much into her new boyfriend, that she doesn't even care about what her daughter is going through. Please give me your input on what you would do if it were your child. Thanks!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:20 AM on Nov. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • There is a good chance that the school won't even talk to you, as you are not the parent or legal guardian. Keep pressing your sister into action.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:24 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • continued: I constantly tell my sister to stop dressing her like a boy because I knew this was going to happen, but ladies its free world to dress as you like right? Or should my sister dress her in girl clothing? She wear boy sneakers, sweat suits, and sometimes she even walk like a boy, but get this. She has a huge crush on Justin Bieber, she play with dolls, and she doesn't even know what gay mean, and I hate that kids in school is exposing her to this. Please help me, I'm very concerned for her.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:24 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Yes there is a good chance the principal won't talk to you, but why not try? But also try to talk to the girl about how to survive the mean people.

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 8:27 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Is there a dad in the picture. Dad's have a major part in girls and there future relationships. maybe he can help talk with your sister and or the school. Also take your niece shopping and encourage other choices in cloths but don't force. You are right she should be able to dress as she wants. Hey doesn't one of Brad Pitt and Angel J.'s daughter dress like a boy too?

    Answer by chris219 at 8:29 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Maybe also try to find out which one of the kids messing with her is the "cool kid" and talk to that kid's parents. Maybe that could change the outlook of the cool kid and change everything.

    *We all dressed like boys when I was her age....The 90's grunge look...It's gonna come back! :)

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 8:31 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I do hope mom or someone explained what being gay means, if she understood the meaning the phrase might not get to her as much. I would step in, the worst that can happen is you will be told her mom needs to do the addressing, but at least they will hear what you got to say. Talk to your niece, explain to her how these kids are trying to offend her and her showing a reaction to the offense triggers more taunting.

    Answer by older at 8:33 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • i would keep talking to your sister and also see if it would be ok if maybe you talked to your neice. i know sometimes when i was a kid i was more comfortable talking to someone other than my mom or dad. kids are so cruel, i am not a big dress wearer, but i do wear girly tops, so maybe take your neice shopping, and see i some of the girly tops spark her interest.

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 8:58 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • (First of all,---I'd like to know WHY there is a "flag" on this question ?... I've read it twice and there isn't a single swear word or dirtiness in it. Is it because the word "gay" is in it ?... Because "gay" implies sexuality ? ---or is it because it means homosexuality ? JUST CURIOUS... )

    Now... I feel sorry for the poor girl. Kids can be so cruel. True, you are not her Mom, but you are a concerned relative. I would speak sincerely to your sister about the problem.

    Answer by IndigoRose at 9:12 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • In my state laws prevent teachers ect from talking abou the student with anyone but parents or legal guardines. share your feelings with you sister, or talk to you niece yourselft

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:49 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Actually it is a Federal Law that schools cannot disclose information to anyone put the parents, other schools that the student is transfering to, or to school officials and to some other parties as needed and outlined by the law. Aunts aren't on the list, unless they are legal guardians. It is called the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, also known as FERPA.

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:56 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

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