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How often....

Have you made bad judgment in friendships? How often have you mistakenly thought a person was compassionate and kind and have them turn on you?

 
older

Asked by older at 8:55 AM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 69 (2,285,492 Credits)
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Answers (18)
  • Too many,I don't get close to people no more.Sorry but the ones who hurt you the most is the ones that say they have God in there hearts.
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 9:13 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Seems like this is the story of my life!!!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:57 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • When I taught adults, especially in a small class situation, I would get very comfortable with them, in general. I mean we'd chat about families and hobbies and so forth, not actually friends, but not strangers. I was very surprised when one of the students turned on me and spoke rudely about something I didn't let her do in class or something. i can't even remember what she said, now, but I was very hurt and realized that I trusted too soon. I did report the incident to my supervisor in case the student took her grievance there, but she never did.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:59 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Plenty of times people have ratted out on me.
    IndigoRose

    Answer by IndigoRose at 9:01 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Bmat, trusting too son might be the reason for this, but sometimes people can deceive you in so many different ways, and I am the kind of person who believes everyone has some good in them, you just have to look for it.
    older

    Comment by older (original poster) at 9:01 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I made the mistake of thinking that because someone said they had God in their heart, that they could not be be half bad, my bad.
    older

    Comment by older (original poster) at 9:02 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Really just once. And she was really a piece of work! After my falling out with her I found out I was just one in a long line of friends she had issues with. I think I was #5 just in our little town. Though I didn't know any of the other people while we were friends! We had a bit of a back and forth about how she was treating me (which I thought was badly) and she went and told other friends she had that I called her a bad mother! I didn't say 1 thing about her mothering skills in the argument! It is shocking to me how ruthless some people can be!
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 9:03 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Right after I got married, I found out that 2 of my sil's were little back stabbers. Prior to my wedding, we used to get together socially. Now I am merely civil at family functions. I had another sil pull a similar stunt years later. Needless to say, the trust is gone & we are limited to small talk. I have a small circle of friends, most that I've been friends with since grade school. Those are the ones I can trust no matter what!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:07 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • i wouldn't say its 'bad judgement' so much as it is 'wrong assumptions' on my part. a new friendship is fun and exciting, and you tend to put ideas/labels onto that person in the beginning..you're having so much fun getting to know them, you want a little of this or that to go along with it. more often than not, those 'extras' you assume or desire to be included aren't there. its just the same person you met in the first place. friendships taken at face value are the ones that remain. you don't choose friends because of what you hope they will become or do for you; you choose friends because of what they are. IMO
    so, in other words, its not the friend who has turned, its reality. there have been a few people i thought 'turned', but i realized they just weren't measuring up to the person i dreamed them to be. its impossible. would you want a friend who was a 100% 'yes-man', or would you rather have honesty, even when its bad?
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:07 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Just once, I quickly found out, and just stopped taking her calls, etc.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 9:08 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

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