Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do I get my step childeren to open up to me

Answer Question
 
bcrazyone

Asked by bcrazyone at 9:14 AM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Just be there, always remind her your there show her you care and make it easy and comfortable to talk to you. You can't make some one open up you just gotta be ready when they do.
    raisingmen

    Answer by raisingmen at 9:17 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Thanks, I just feel like the outsider.
    bcrazyone

    Comment by bcrazyone (original poster) at 9:22 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Teens are hard a lot don't even open up to parents if she knows your there when shes ready she'll come to you.Maybe she's gotta work it out in her head before she can talk about it. Keep talking to her don't nag just always make small talk so she knows your there and care. Remind her you were a teen and it was rough- relate if you can.
    raisingmen

    Answer by raisingmen at 9:27 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • how long have you been married to her father? If it was recently, it may be a while. Remember, your husband chose u as a wife but they did not chose you as a ST, they may even feel that you are taking their mom's place in their dad's life (well u kinda are but that is what happens when people get divorced). Just be patient, try not to make too many changes to the househould in the way of rules and things, they had a way if doing things before you came along, let them keep it.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 10:04 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • From personal experience having a stepmother - don't try so hard. Just be yourself, be truthful & available. Number one rule: DON'T EVER TRASH TALK THEIR MOM! EVER even if she clearly deserves it & they are trash talking her, do not participate! Once they figure out your goal is not to replace their mom, but be a loving addition to the family - they'll come around. Good Luck to you!
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 10:08 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Find some things you can do with them for fun to show you care and want to be friends. Like going to lunch, the mall, bowling........
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 10:14 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Take them out for dinner, one at a time. Kind of like a special time for just the 2 of you. Let them know that you are there to talk if they ever need someone and that you won't tell anyone else what is said unless they are being hurt by someone, they are hurting someone, etc. Then keep your word.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:46 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Talk, talk, talk, and when they talk listen. Tell them you love them, building bridges takes time. Let them know your on their side. Do stuff together like make cookies, walk the dog, art projects pay a game with them. They are kids like any other how would you make friends with my kids. Simply do the same thing.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:41 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.