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I hit my child...

Twice in the last month. Once for spitting at me, and today because he just wouldn't shut up about not wanting to go to school. He is almost 4. He is so sweet, and i love him...

I am scared. I don't know where this anger is coming from. Its been on and off for the last year. I just find that I don't have the patience sometimes to deal with even the littlest things. I don't know if it is just pegnancy hormones or what, but it terrifies me. I need help. I am afraid if I tell someone I have hit my child, they will call CPS on me. There is no reason for us to be in trouble, but, I dont know.. I feel so sick to my stomach about this. There is no reason I couldnt have just walked away. I dont want to ever hit him ever again.. and I dont want to feel out of control, especially with a new baby coming.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Nov. 3, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • This has happened to be before as well, and the feeling is terrible. Perhaps you just need some you time alone to spend doing what you what. I say this because it can help you calm down and put you in a place to be more patient. I know we have all done things we didn't mean to and wish we could take back. I think in order to take care of our kids at times, we need to take care of ourself first. See if someone can watch him for even a couple hours, and go take a walk or read. It will do wonders. And try not to beat yourself up too much. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Did you hit like, slap his mouth or hit him like beat him? I'm not pregnant and I'v slapped my son on the mouth for spitting and screaming. And a few other things like swearing and catching an attitude.

    But I think it would be a good idea to impliment some quiet time as a I call it, even tho its usually not quiet at my house. I give my son a snack, a full drink, and put a movie on about once a week and I come upstairs and watch some tv or take a bath or relax. I can always hear if there is a problem but afterward I feel refreshed and ready to take on the day and whatever bad behavior comes with it.
    Crystal1124

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 10:38 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • No, GOD no I didn't hurt him that bad, like a beating. When he spit at me, I smacked him on the cheek. And I did have control enough to make it a lighter smack. Today when I hit him, I grabbed his face and yelled at him to shut up and smacked him on the side of the head. Not enough to make him move or fall over (thank god), but it was something I shouldnt have done... I feel possessed sometimes. I hate it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • If it's just a spanking it's fine. I wouldn't worry. It's easy to get stressed, espcially while pregnant! If you really don't want to hit your child, try just walking away. Try letting him stay home from school one day (if you can) but don't let him do anything. Say "fine. I don't want to hear it any more. Stay home. Go sit in that corner and stay there until school is over!" He might change his tune.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Don't beat yourself up about it. Atleast you know what you did wasn't the best solution. You are having normal pregnant mood swings and I would bet that your son is acting out because he isn't going to be the "baby" anymore. Try and get some "you" time as much as you can, get plenty of rest (easier siad the done) that will cut down on some of the mood swings. But most importantly try to have some good quility time with your son, and maybe talk about the new baby coming, get some books on being a big brother. Try encouraging him to be the best big brother he can be. Kids love to be involved and right now I am betting he is trying to figure out where is place will be and I imagine he is scared too.
    Izzyscrazymom

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 10:47 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Yes it could be that your are pregnant but even when the baby comes you will have twice the anger.
    And I know when you say hit I know you mean spank, if not don't hurt him where it will leave marks on him because sometimes you do have to do some spanking that does catch kids attention so don't feel like you are a bad mother do what you have to do to get your job done if your child sees you weak he/she will pick up on that and will try to run you over and try to get away with whatever so no keep diciplining your child until they get it. You know how far to go.
    Some moms don't believe in spankings, but I do and it helps me alot after I spank my kids I'll be watching TV and they come over and lay next to me like nothing or they say they are sorry but of course they are kids and do it all over again and there I go too. good luck
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:47 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Swats on the butt are fine. If you truly feel you anger is overcoming you and you did by hitting him on the head, I would suggest you seek some counseling for your anger feelings. You could also try to discuss it with your Dr., but I don't think he could probably put you on any type of meds at this point. When my daughter was little she was very strong willed... Sometimes I would find myself yelling, and I had to stop and remind myself she was just a child and was testing my will. I learned to take control, but to do it in a calm, patient manner. Before you discipline, step out of the room and take a deep breath, get yourself together and then go back in the room and discipline... spanking on the butt is fine, but not anywhere else...
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 10:57 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Also I would like to add that when I was pregnant with my 7 month old my oldest was 4 and we had a lot of behavior issues and I remember yelling at her for no reason at times, I felt horrible, I would cry to my husband who worked nights that I felt like I was this monster and how was I going to be a good mom to 2 kids if I am lashing out now. My husband and I worked extra hard in reasuring her that I was still going to be mom and I still would love her the same, the only thing that would change is that she would have a little sister that she would have to teach how to laugh and play, ect.ect. Things changed real quick, and I found I yelled less. My husband also became very aware of how important it was for me to get "me" time even for just an hour he would do specail things with her, while I enjoyed a nigth bubble bath or something.If you involve him as much as you can with the pregnancey and when the baby comes. Goodluck! :)
    Izzyscrazymom

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 10:59 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I know how you're feeling because I've done it myself with my own children. With my son, I hit in the face and it bruised and turned reddish-purple. With my duaghters, I threw a brush and it bounced up and hit them in the head and left a (not big, but not small) lump on their foreheads. And, yes I felt like the worst mother in hte world to the point that I asked them if they wanted a new mommy.And the hardest part (for me at lest) was when I apologized to them and they said, "It's ok momm, I know you love me and I still love you". As far as CPS, I too was sooo afraid that with my son, I kept him home for a few days until it healed and even told him not to tell anyone and if anyone asked, say that he got hurt playing. And because I knew how and why I was wrong, I got myself into counseling and have been going for 18 months now and it has really reall helped me get some(still have a way to go) control over my anger.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I smacked my 3 yr old once because of her biting me when I was breast feeding my youngest. I know how you feel. If you are truly concerned about anger issues, please check out some anger management classes in your area. I am not sure of the price of most, but I do know that some anger support groups are free if they are done through a church or community center.

    Good luck. Try not to beat yourself up. I think everyone has slipped in different ways. But if you are scared of yourself, that is a sure sign that you should go to some type of counseling or support class for anger.
    PhiLLy-StyLe

    Answer by PhiLLy-StyLe at 11:42 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

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