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2 Bumps

Is an emotional afair worse than a physical affair

If your spouse was "dating" another person, but stopped before anything happened, can you get over the betrayal?

 
justme19641964

Asked by justme19641964 at 11:14 AM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (56 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think both are damaging in heir own way. You feel "cheated" ethier way.
    PrdMilWife

    Answer by PrdMilWife at 11:24 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Neither one is a great idea but yes you can get over it. Most marriages can get over anything if both parties want to get over it. It can even make the marriage stronger. So he strayed. He saw the error of his ways and got back on track. Give him credit for that. Work together and mend that fence. Is she really worth losing everything you worked for? I don't think so. Find out what made him turn to her in the first place and fix that as well.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:29 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Either one would be a deal breaker for me. I am sure some couples could work through it, but I personally could not.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:27 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • you never get over it and trust you once had has gone he need to grow up how dare him do this to you and your marriage ,i wounder if you had done this how would he feel not the same he be out the door,so how is it that we woman have to get over it and move on ,first 10yrs of my happy bless my hubby had more affairs that you could shoot a stick with ,yes i stay with him because it was my fault that are his words not mine i had to move on i had to get over it i had to trust him again know we have 31yrs of bless i still do not trust him he keeps secerts ,is there woman in his life i don't think they want him now he is not hot fat and bald and old i stayed for the kids and do i still trust him no ,you have to earn trust before i can give it ,
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 11:34 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I think I'd be able to get past an emotional affair better than a physical. If I knew he had been with another woman there would be no way I could touch him again. Of course if the emotional affair was somebody he knew in real life I probably couldn't get over that either.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:34 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I think they are both bad in their own ways...but either way they would be hard to get over.
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 12:00 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • No, I couldnt get over it. To me emotional is just as bad and I wouldnt forgive either.

    I might consider counseling before actual divorce tho.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 12:55 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • With how long we have been together, and all the shit we have been though, with the point we are at now, I could not get over any kind of affair. We have a great relationship. We have always worked through every issue that came up. Some took longer then others. There have been things that weren't talked about till years later (I didn't know how unhappy he was till years later). We are stronger now. We have been though so much, together. Things that have broken up other marriages. With all the things we went though, and there was no cheating on either part, if there were to be cheating NOW? No dice. It's over.
    Besides, our kids would probably demand the cheater leave the home. 2 of our kids get really pissed when someone is checking me or my hubby out, and he, or I, don't do anything about it. Hell, hubby said someone on TV was hot, and my son got upset. For one of us to cheat? Damn. The kids would be over the moon pissed.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 12:58 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • To me, an emotional affair is way worse. But I guess each person is different.
    Luisa621

    Answer by Luisa621 at 6:12 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • To me, I don't believe in "emotional affairs". I think if he was talking to someone else and stopped it before it got any further, isn't that called having a really good friend who is also female ?

    I don't understand why so many women have a difficult time with their men even talking to another woman - geez, are you that paranoid ? He can't have a female friend? One of my best friends is a man, who has been married for over 30 years. His wife and I are also friends, although I would go out and run around shopping with him, not her ! We have never been intimate, although the way we joke around, everyone thinks we have been - but so long as his wife and I both know that there hasn't (and never will be) anything physical between us, then who cares what other people think. Is this an "emotional affair" ? Some people would say "yes it is". I say "no' because we are just best friends of the opposite sex, nothing more !!
    JustMyOpinion22

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 11:08 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

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