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Husband's money is his. What to do?

What can you do? Your DH's money is his. He gets health insurance for himself. You have health issues and all. But can't get health insurance or even any help. Because of his income! You have some health needs and problem. You can't afford to go to a Dr. You lose your jobs. Since both were lost due to the economy. Your UEC benefits are cut. Where you can't afford your share of the bills you're responsible for like half of the rent, utilities etc... At your Anniversary meal you go dutch. Is there any way to get help? With anything? What do you make of this kind of a DH? Does anyone live like this? What can you do? How to advise someone living in this situation?

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Angellinda

Asked by Angellinda at 11:17 AM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,804 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • My advice? DIVORCE him. This isn't a marriage but a roommate situation.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:18 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • i dont get how he has health insurance and you dont even though youre married? his employer wont put you on there? what i would do in that situation is tell him that if he wont provide for you he can put his kids in day care and find maids to clean the house.
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 11:18 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • If you aren't working, tyr to find a job. I know times are touch, but you can do your own business at home. Start a day care, baking items and selling them at local dealerships. Go to the library and get a book on starting your own business. Don't rely on someone else, especially when it isn't a 50-50 marriage.
    justme19641964

    Answer by justme19641964 at 11:21 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • His insurance should cover his whole family! A marriage is a partnership you work on things together!! Here in my home my husband is laid off and I am the one working! I never ever would do that to him! Are you in a loving relationship? If not go your own way! It may be hard at first but worth it in the long run!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 11:22 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • if you talk to a lawyer he will tell you what any money your hubby makes half of it is yours ,in house hold there is not mine but ours ,so tell your hubby now he has wife his money is both of you ,and to dutch on your annieversary your hubby was being cheap tell pick up or he can talk to your lawyer
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 11:23 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • That's not a husband. That's a roommate. Your husband is supposed to be your life PARTNER. Meaning you help each other. You would qualify for a whole lot without him.
    Stephalpha

    Answer by Stephalpha at 11:26 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • You should be working to keep the family a FAMILY and separating every thing like this is not a family unit. You both need to provide for each other in the ways your able to do. Him financially and you emotionally and with the care of house and kids. The two of you need to talk about this and try to meet in the middle as it were. Good luck!
    cassdragon23

    Answer by cassdragon23 at 11:27 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • It's time to go and start over, and learn to take care of yourself. You're not in a real marriage anyway. You can do it. If you're out of work start pounding the pavement before you proceed with a divorce, get some money saved up, then once you're stable enough to make the move, see an attorney, file for divorce, and an exparte order so he has to move out. It's considered a form of abuse if he's withholding money, etc from you. If you need anything, please feel free to message me, I have been down the road your on, and I know it's not fun, so know you're not alone. GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:27 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I agree with Pookipoo!
    joysweet

    Answer by joysweet at 11:30 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • This is absolutely insane to me. What do you mean he has insurance, you don't? He pays HIS bills, you can't pay YOURS. You are married. Joined for life, sickness or health, good or bad. Your husband needs to take a class on how to be a husband. He needs to figure these things out with you, pay the bills that he can afford ("your" share too) and figure out how to get his wife insurance and whatever else she needs.
    I lost my job too and my husband has been so wonderful. He has always maintained PPO insurance for all of us, even my 2 kids that aren't his. He pays all the bills and still lets me buy anything extra I want.
    I'm so baffled by your "husband".
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:32 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

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