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2 Bumps

Would you be able to work through a marriage with a cheating spouse?

Would you be able to take an affair and deal with the emotional pain? Are we streong enough to be able to get through the betrayal?

 
justme19641964

Asked by justme19641964 at 11:31 AM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (56 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • I would probably if it only happened once. After that I would hand them their walking papers.

    Shines3

    Answer by Shines3 at 11:33 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • There are too many variables to consider to answer this question honestly. I believe that it depends on the couple and the entire situation. Everyone is different.
    Stephalpha

    Answer by Stephalpha at 11:35 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I tried for the sake of our son but it didn't work, I was miserable and it showed to my son....how can I be the best mother I can be when I was so unhappy in my marriage? When I finally left and got a divorce I was much happier, which made my son happier and I'm a better mom for it. I'm now remarried and we have an 11 month old daughter and I couldn't be happier.

    My ex-husband is still very self absorbed and a confirmed sex addict....he goes from one relationship to another because he can't stay faithful to anyone.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 11:51 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • yes. Lots of listening and forgiveness.
    Shelly1959

    Answer by Shelly1959 at 11:32 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • No. Better to move on.
    LillysWorld

    Answer by LillysWorld at 11:32 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • yes. My mom used to say all men cheat (not true btw) so when my x did cheat it was actually a relief that it happened and it was over. We got past that but years later he became abusive so I left.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:35 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • No i would never putup with my husband cheating and I wouldn't expect for him to put up with it either.
    soon2bmmy

    Answer by soon2bmmy at 11:38 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • No, I couldn't. Especially given that it's just NOT in my hubby to cheat. We are not like that, so if he did, I'd be so crushed. And I'm not the kind to get through that. No amount of working on it would be enough. And this goes both ways. Plus, there are our kids to consider. We both feel this way, it would be cheating on our kids as well. And that would just be unforgivable. Also, I think it would be me that would become abusive towards him, physically and emotionally, which would be so unbelievably unhealthy for all of us. It would just be better to head in different directions if he cheated. We have talked about this a various times in our relationship, an it always has remained the same, and we have always agreed, without hesitation.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:41 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • No, I've seen what it does to a marriage, and I don't have that kind of hate for myself. My sister has been unhappy for 20 years, married to a man that had a child with someone else, and never sees the child. Their kids are hateful, and unhappy, because of all that happened.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:38 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I'm not bashing but studies show that men cheat because their emotional needs are not being met at home. Take responsibility for what he thinks is your betrayal of your vows to him. Now sit down and talk with him about how all this came about and see how it can be fixed. You are focusing on his actions and not your own part in it. Again, I'm not bashing, just trying to get you to see that he's not entirely at fault here. You can fix this. You can get past it. Now focus on what you want out of your marriage. Learn from this experience so your marriage will be strong and cheat proof in the future. (all said with respect)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

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