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3 Bumps

How do I get my older kids to talk with me again and let me see my grandkids, because they hate my husband of 11 years and I have offered to see them without bringing my husband, but they refuse even then. They want me to choose. Help!

Answer Question

Asked by Shelly1959 at 11:31 AM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • What has your husband done that is so wrong in there eyes? All you can do is keep trying!

    Answer by jem102675 at 11:33 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • If they hate him enough to sever the relationship with the grand kids, what is it about this husband that they hate?

    People don't cut off their family because they dislike them. People cut others out of their lives because they cause trauma or danger.

    Answer by ecodani at 11:34 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • All I can say is try to keep an open line of comunication with your kids try not to get mad at them for how they feel. they feel the way they do for a reason , try to find out why they feel that way.....what bugs them so badly they don't want you around with or with out your husband. Explaine that you don't feel that it is right for them to not allow you to visit with them and the grandkids....BUT do it in a nice way! Try to meet on even ground! See if they will let you talk to the kids on the phone or web cam if you have one(if they are big enough to talk) G/L take it slow and don't give up!

    Answer by Becnfamily at 11:38 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I am sure there is more to this story than your telling, there must be a reason for this dislike and ultimatum.

    Answer by older at 11:39 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. What is their main objection to your husband?

    Answer by elizabr at 11:42 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Um not to be an asshole but maybe they believe you already chose and maybe they are not over what they see as the betrayal. I would offer the olive branch and have a dinner where you as the original family come together and it might not be easy but maybe they need you to hear them and when you do you might be tempted to deffend yourself but let them say and move on. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:45 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • More info is needed to answer

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 3:58 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • If they won't let you "see" the kids in person, you can still send birthday / Christmas cards and letters.

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 4:19 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • This is a difficult one as the family history plays a big part. I am experiencing the same issue in some respect I try to stay in touch with them and come up with unique ideas like take them out to eat. Nobody can refuse a free dinner. I do not know why they do not like your husband. My kids do not like my husband of 3 years because before he came along they could pretty much con me and now they cannot and he has also taught me to not be a nice mom but one they will respect. So they got a double whammy. They also felt before that they did not have to do anything around the house and i did most all of it myself. Now there are consequences for everything and they do not understand why there is no money for allowance when nothin is done.

    Answer by angeldove1324 at 5:54 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I am sorry they are making you chose. What made your children dislike your DH so much? Once you get to that root of the problem you will be able to figure the rest out. I hope it is a simple fix where you can see your grandchildren. The only advice I can give is first find out the reason and second find out how you can fix the situation without giving up your marriage. Good luck!!

    Answer by dana63 at 6:01 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

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