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my life falling apart.

married for nine years four kids and no time together he works six days apart and one day spent together with kids .dont know were im going no more fell alone. please help

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tjg809

Asked by tjg809 at 12:38 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Find a couples counselor, fast. If he won't go, go alone
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:43 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Does he feel the same? If he doesn't, he needs to know you feel this way, so you both can work on things together. Get on the same page. Even couples that don't spend much time physically together can have great relationships. But you need open and good communication. So talk with him.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 12:46 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Try to find the time. Include the kids with your special one day a week. If love him do not give up. Things will get better. MIght find something you like to do to keep busy while he works. You could try cousler if need. Maybe he can cut back on work a little cause nothing is more imortant than family. I hope that helps and if not I will friend invite you to keep in touch.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 12:49 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • thanks ,hes the kids of man that is selfish with his money and i also cought him looking up girls on line and opened an account .
    tjg809

    Comment by tjg809 (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • thanks
    tjg809

    Comment by tjg809 (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Ohhh, babe, that's a whole different story here. Personally, and this may not work for you guys, but I'd call him on it. Not in front of the kids, of course. But I'd call him on it, and humiliate him. He's got limited time with you, and it's understandable that he's got needs. But, he should be finding more ways to make what he's got better. Not finding ways to sabotage it, and his family as well. He may not realize what he's doing. Does he know you know? I get the feeling there's much more that you aren't telling. He's selfish with his money. He's looking up chics online, went as far as opened an account. Wouldn't look to good in court. Grab him by the balls and tug. Not literally. But, you have the upper hand here. He's setting himself up here to have an affair. If he hasn't already. Document his account, before he deletes it. Document all you can, then grab him by the balls.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 1:05 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • then at night when it is just the two of you... you two need to find that common bond with one another.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 1:14 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • What about a new job? Is that a viable option right now?
    SlightlyPerfect

    Answer by SlightlyPerfect at 1:17 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I understand you feel alone, and that is very difficult because it can lead to many things. But maybe you can get a job? I think the best thing will be for you to feel that you are worthy and a job might do that, and that way in case things do fall apart, you will be able to hold your own.
    Luisa621

    Answer by Luisa621 at 6:01 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • All relationships take work, even the good ones. It is an up and down, emotional rollercoaster. You have to constantly be working at it, putting effort in to a relationship. It is very easy to fall in to routine, to get so caught up in life, kids, your work that you forget what being a couple means. I personally believe that you can work anything out, at this point, its a matter of 'do you want to'?

    Do you want this to work? You personally. If the kids werent involved, would you still want this to work? Are you willing to put all your effort into making this work?

    Even then, if you decide that you want to be with him, he still needs to decide. If he is no longer willing to put in the effort to your relationship, then its time to make a change. Either way, I wish you the best of luck, I will pray everything works out best for you
    stenhouse_baby

    Answer by stenhouse_baby at 3:28 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

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