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so my adughter just got her first spanking...over something she has repeatedly been told no, had naughty corner time etc. she did it again the second i walked out of the room and she got a lil tap on her bootie and 5 more min. in the naughty corner area.
but now i feel bad. i know lots of moms use lil taps on the theigh or butt to say no but this is the first time i ever resorted to this. she used to always respond to NO but now she's in that phase wehre she is testing our limits and purposefully sneaks things that she knows are wrong.not sure if i went too far doing that


Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • A tap is fine, as far as I am concerned. It upset me a little when I did it the first couple of times, but sometimes it's all that gets their attention and lets them know, "Hey, I really mean it!!!" I reserve it for more serious offenses because otherwise it loses its' effectiveness.
    As for DH not helping discipline, that can eventually create problems in your marriage- make him. If you have to leave him alone an entire weekend, all day both days, so he is forced to deal with these things, so be it. If he doesn't seem to care about the things she is doing that bother you, then you need to have a serious discussion with him about how hurtful it is that you aren't on the same page and he is making you appear to be a jerk to your DD when all you are trying to do is keep her safe and respectful. My DH had a hard time, but eventually I just started saying, "Daddy?? Help me out here...." He's in the habit now... =)

    Answer by mommy2danica at 6:07 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Not if it was just a tap....any spanking that leaves any mark (even a temporary red mark) has gone too far, but a pop to grab her attention is not going to harm her.

    Answer by Kimebs at 11:15 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • She now knows that you mean it. You didn't beat her, you didn't lose your temper and lose control. You gave her a quick whack on the butt to reinforce'the message. Sometimes, it's needed.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:49 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • You have a choice, teach her now OR you'll pay for it later.. I spanked my kids! It didn't kill them.. They are now 19 &15. Its all about respect NOW.. My kids know that I depand it.. When I did spank them they understood why and I didn't have to do it twice for the same thing.. I didn't beat them, I simply made them understand who was in charge. If you don't start when they are young they will NEVER get it and you've lost..

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 11:53 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • IF YOU DO CHOOSE TO SPANK, then you shouldn't put her in time out too!!!!! This is a double punishment for the same offense. I tried spanking my kids and realised that if I was spanking them or just putting them in time out, at this age they are still just going to go and do it. So I don't even spank now.

    Answer by MarshaB702 at 1:20 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • You are only really doing this for your childs safety. I also have a daughter who is 15 mos old and she is testing everything also. I just hate to spank her, but it's for her safety and to tell her that I am in charge and not her. She is going to figure that out eventually.

    Answer by amerchik4eva at 1:31 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • . i guess im just worried is it right for me to do that? i would NEVER hit her face a lil tap to asy HEY. that was wrong of you. but she still doesnt get it, she did it AGAIN a hour later. and the thing is she DOES know she's doing wrong. if you walk in on her doing something wrong she'll hide it behind her back or run away....but if she's not she just looks at you and keeps doing her business. she knows when she's doing a "no no" but i also noticed.she seems to be acting up more when daddy is around. daddy is the nice one who never disciplines her , and im turning into the bad one cause im the strict mommy and he just tives her cookies.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • i think the doublesided bit is making this harder. he needs to agree with me and vice versa. a week ago she slapped the cat and i got down and picked up the cat and told her "No, be nice" daddy was in the other room so she starts yelling DADDY DADDY. like she was telling on me...but when daddy isnt home, she'll say sorry , or give me a hug or something.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • don't feel bad about it. like the other mothers said it shows her you mean it. me and my husband spank our son, if after repeated times of time outs and no's. as long as it doesn't cross the line and it's a tap to know you mean it. he'll be fine. me and my hubby were both spanked as kids and we turned out just fine. it's scary the first time you did it, but if you don't take control now and show her that you are the mom and your in charge. she'll walk all over you. Good luck!

    Answer by kaidensmommy1 at 2:58 PM on Nov. 3, 2008