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Need new ideas on how to disipline my 4 yr old son

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Asked by kcush10 at 2:04 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 5 (63 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I'm not sure if I'm going to be any help, but I will try. My almost 4yr old has been purposely deceitful lately and it's driving me crazy. When he does something such as has a temper tantrum in the store, he will be on punishment. His punishment is his favorite toy taken away for the day. He absolutely hates this. But, if we have a good week he gets to pick a toy out of my special bag. The bag has a bunch of stuff I picked up for cheap like markers, army men, water color paint, coloring books, ect. I always make sure to reward his positive behavior. Hope this helps.

    Answer by momofone221 at 2:15 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I agree with PP. You certainly must know his "currency" which is whatever thing is most important to him. Withhold that for a certain length of time for punishment. Give him one warning that it will be taken away. Be consistent. Also make sure you and your SO have one on one time with him and praise him when he does things right. Often kids go for negative attention when they do not get enough positive attention. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 3:39 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • You should have one on one time with him even when hes not doing things right. Punishment is one thing but it shouldn't take away from spending good fun time with your kids.

    I know someone will flame me for this but have you tried spanking him?

    Answer by Iamasinglemom99 at 7:19 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • To clarify......I meant you should have one on one time with him at any time and often. AND also praise him when he does things right.

    Answer by elizabr at 9:05 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Time outs, taking away toys. If it gets really bad, I bust her butt. That's a last resort. Short of that, I'm not sure.

    Well, actually, you can give them choices. They can either keep carrying on and go to bed without a story or they can calm down and get one.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:45 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • time out and loss of toys/priveleges


    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 1:42 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I'm not sure it's always about "new" ways to punish - it's about what's a meaningful punishment to that particular child. I absolutely use timeouts, consistently with all 4 of mine. In addition, they lose privileges when the choose to misbehave - and the privilege lost depends on the misbehavior itself. When they're younger, I give a warning but as they get older I stop giving warnings - usually they can tell what they need to be doing with just a "look". And for serious misbehavior? I impose additional punishments - for example, if you mistreat a sibling, not only do you go to timeout and lose the privilege at hand, you also now need to do something nice for that sibling.
    It's really important that you're very consistent with rules, expectations, and punishments, that's what makes them effective.

    Answer by Gaccck at 8:43 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Thanks everyone. He seems to do what he wants when he wants, no matter the punishment. Time outs, toys being taken away, bed early ect do not seem to work at all. He has a very poor atitude and im wondering if this has to do with his older sister. I just cant seem to find that one thing that upsets him so that he will listen. I guess ill try time outs again & rewarding him with a new toy or something along the lines of that when he is good. Thanks everyone for the advice.

    Comment by kcush10 (original poster) at 10:39 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Well, mentioning the older sister you want to doubly make sure he is getting enough of your attention. He may feel left out. Give some extra thought to what his most favorite thing is to withhold if you have to.

    And one more idea............a friend has a chart in her kitchen that has kind acts on it. The kids get points or stickers for doing good things. Then they get a reward after a week or so. They might go out for ice cream, go to the park, etc. You can fashion the chart any way you want to get to your particular goals. Just one more idea.

    Answer by elizabr at 12:00 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

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