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5 Bumps

Manipulating sister

My neice is 11 and her sister (from one of her mother's relationships) is 21. This 21 year old is emotionally abusing my neice by making her believe our family is against her mother. She has gone so far as to send nasty text messages to my brother from her mother's cellphone, who apparently has allowed her to do this. The problem is this is the only form of communication my brother has with the mother. My neice is basically being used as a pawn in order to hurt us and is interfering with visitation which my brother's attorney is doing nothing about! I went ahead and called the mother to ask her to stop sending hateful text messages (in part because one of the things the 21 year said in the text was that 'my' mother is a (non mentionable). My neice is brainwashed. Her two sisters are from two different fathers and they are both a mess emotionally. What else can I do to help my neice? She is now allowed to call me.

Answer Question

Asked by Rosalie70 at 3:57 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I'm a bit confused here but call a family laywer and ask for a consultation.

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 4:02 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Why is the mother letting all this happen? I would try to talk to the mother and the neice together without the 21 year old sister..or seek couseling..good luck

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 4:06 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Wow, I'm sorry your family HAS to go through with this!

    Lawyers can be completely useless @$$3$ sometimes, especially when they think their part in the fracas is done.

    As a mom who had to deal with my ex trying to obfuscate a court order for visitation 3 weeks ago, I suggest your brother tell your niece's mom ONE time that her interfering with court ordered visitation can land her in jail, no warnings. He needs to tell a direct pre-set time/place for picking your niece up, and BE THERE ON TIME. If this girl's mom won't let her come or doesn't show up then your brother should call the cops immediately, tell them their is court ordered visitation time and the girl's mother is keeping her from her dad. They will go with your brother to her house, provided he has a copy of the court papers that show the order on him at the time, and make her hand over his daughter. If she still refuses she can be arrested.

    Good luck honey!

    Answer by NEMommaOf3 at 4:14 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I'm afraid the mother and 21 year old are the same. All they want to do is hurt my brother, but they are too self centered and miserable to understand they are hurting my neice. My neice's two sisters were fathered by people who were criminals and I don't think their mother ever had a family life either. You would think that a normal human being that is concerned about the welfare of her child would want a good father to be in the picture. They are also angry because they cannot support themselves without my brother's child support payments. Hence, even though he has one daughter with her, she has to depend on him for the support her three children. The court apparently did not care about this fact.

    Comment by Rosalie70 (original poster) at 4:17 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Keep looking into different laywers and stay nice so they have nothing to use against you guys but save the texts from them!

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 4:30 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • And document everything.

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:40 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Well, to be honest with you on this one, you either take it as its given to you or have your brother fight for the right to see his daughter as the court order suggest and get another attorney. Your niece will always hear bad things about your side of the family from her mother and sister. "even if you get it in the court order" when the child turns 18, you will not be able to stop them from saying negative things about you guys. The best thing you can do, since you are now "allowed" to talk with your niece is to play nicely because one day she will eventually grow up, she'll remember who was there for her on your side of the family...sorry this is happening and I hope it all works out for the best.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:58 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

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