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2 Bumps

should it hurt my feelings and should i so something

we live in maine now my husbands family in tn. a few years ago we lived in florida. my kids never got gifts from husbands side. my kids did send them gifts. i know with us out of state this year the same thing will happen. i cant not buy gifts for the kids in tn. but should i say something about them (the adults) forgeting mine. i plan to buy a small gift for each of my kids and put it under the tree with a tag from tn. is that wrong of me. i just dont want my kids hurt.

Answer Question

Asked by sttawardnas at 3:58 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (181 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I wouldn't. Your kids should realize that they just don't send gifts. Are you going to keep lying every year and putting a gift under the tree. What if your kids want to call and thank them, what will you say?? My suggestion, no..but it's up to you! good luck

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 4:02 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • It's setting you up for a lifetime of giving presents under someone else's name.

    Don't give your children the expectation that they SHOULD be getting gifts from every family member, and they won't have hurt feelings. It's unrealistic and somewhat self-centered to teach your children that they are entitled to presents from EVERYONE at Christmas or Birthdays.

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 4:04 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I would neither feel hurt nor would I put a pretend gift. Every fam. has diff ways of doing things. I would also not set up the kids to always "expect" something nor would I start a life long chain of lying.
    Do nothing and enjoy Christmas as a fam. If you CHOOSE to send something its YOUR CHOICE, do it for yourself and your family NOT with the thought of expecting something back... then you're in the true Spirit... and the heck with anyone else LOL

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 4:07 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • your right you really are. but when the kids talk on the phone to their cousins it gets rubbed in their face.

    Comment by sttawardnas (original poster) at 4:09 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • You are giving them merit when they do not deserve, tell your kids the truth and don't make up a gift that came from you to be theirs.

    Answer by older at 4:14 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • We bought gifts for hubby's extended family for the first few we were married because it was a tradition with my family. We never got anything in return and didn't even get thank yous. I got so sick of spending a small fortune (5 siblings each with several children - hubby is much younger than the rest of his siblings), going to all the hassle and then our own kids not getting anything in return. Now we buy for his mom, my parents and my brother and my grandma. I wouldn't buy my kids presents and then say they were from someone else, you are just setting your kids up for hurt when they find out the truth.


    Answer by scout_mom at 4:28 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • We live in Virginia and all of our family is in...MAINE. My parents are the only ones that send the kids gifts. They know that nobody else sends them gifts and thats ok.

    Answer by ashisamom at 4:46 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • no

    Answer by san78 at 4:49 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Once my brothers moved away we agreed that there would be no more gifts exchanged between all of us. We called each other on the holiday instead.

    Answer by elizabr at 4:49 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Hon, if HIS family can't be bothered to send gifts to your kids, then don't send their kids gifts.

    I'm sorry to sound like a hard @$$ but its a fact. AND if their cousins comment on it say 'Well, for years you got stuff from us and my kids didn't get ANYTHING from your family.'

    My ex-SIL used to pull this garbage and start fights between my now-ex and I. I would send her boys AWESOME stuff that they had been begging for, letting her know first so they wouldn't get duplicates...and she NEVER sent anything back. We were on a MUCH tighter budget than she was, she constantly bragged about new tech gadgets that cost $$$$.

    The year I didn't send anything, she got a conscience and sent our kids dollar store crap that broke as soon as they played with it...

    Sorry you gotta deal with people like this. I'm in Maine, too! .

    Answer by NEMommaOf3 at 5:16 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

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