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5 Bumps

Thanksgiving Dilema...Am I right for being upset?

Just got off the phone with my mom and am a little upset. We are planning to visit Mom's for Thanksgiving and dont't always get to go back home for Thanksgiving. My Hubby and I alternate years with families and we have Thanksgiving at our home on the othe years. I was initially excited about going back home for Thanksgiving. I was looking forward to spending time with my family. My mom just informed me that she has invited 12-14 non familly members for Thanksgiving dinner along with our family for a grand total of 20 people. Our quiet family Thanksgiving has now turned into a big event with non family members. I am a socialable person dont get me wrong however with strangers at your table you cannot truly be yourself or fully relax "back home". How should I handle this situation? I am certain my dear hubby will be less than thrilled when he finds out?

Answer Question
 
yearnforbaby

Asked by yearnforbaby at 4:05 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Holidays

Level 8 (246 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Won't that only be one day of your trip?? You should be able to relax the rest of the time. Otherwise if it bothers you too much make this the year you stay home and make the trip next year.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 4:08 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Your mom was probably just trying to be nice and invite people that maybe didn't have anything to do. I would try to make the best of it, go early and help and spend quality time with your family, and stay late and try to visit..have fun.
    Ambie0526

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 4:08 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Your children learn from your reaction to things, so try to make the best of it.
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 4:09 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Honestly, if both DH and I were going to be so uncomfortable I wouldn't go. Its not a happy option but I wouldn't be able to pretend to be happy in front of everybody either.
    DonnaPinitonya

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 4:13 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I think it's great that your mom has invited others to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving dinner. I would try to view it as a wonderful opportunity to give others a chance to be Thankful. :)
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 4:15 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I agree with ambie.
    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 4:18 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Well, I have to wonder why your mom invited the non-family members. Were they not going to have a Thanksgiving with their families? I think a Thanksgiving with friends would be lots of fun, but I don't know if I would invite so many when I wasn't inviting a lot of family as well. If you and hubby will be uncomfortable, you might want to postpone your visit to your mom's for another year and have Thanksgiving at home this year. But, if your mom invited these people because they would not have a Thanksgiving on their own it seems like a very nice gesture.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 4:21 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • My inlaws usually have 35-40 people. Half of those are friends with nowhere else to go. I think it is a beautiful thing to share your bounty with others. Over the years you make friends with people you wouldn't know otherwise. I say go and enjoy yourself. You should be proud that your mother welcomes others.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 4:22 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I would be upset over it since you planned to spend some quiet family time together for the holiday. I do not want to go you can change your mind. But your mom was just trying to be nice to these other people and did not think about you. Maybe she thought you would not mind but I do think she should have asked you are there only every other thanksgiving. Go and enjoy your self or stay at home for a quiet hoiday and make sure the rest of the holiday is just for you and your family. Talk to her. I hope all goes well
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 4:23 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • My thanksgiving is a open invite. we dont know who coming until they walk in the door. You could stay home this year and go next year,but she might invite them next year too. Good luck
    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 6:00 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

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