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Fair Curfew for 13 year old?

My husband set a curfew for my stepdaughter who is 13. 8 pm on school nights, so we can make sure her homework is done and she gets to bed at a decent time. 10 pm on weekends. Is that too early?

He is away out of town on business alot, so it is just her and I and our young daughter. Do you think it would be okay to give her lee-way on the curfew when he's gone? For instance, let her stay out later if she doesn't have much homework that night?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (64)
  • Well when I was almost 14, I had to be home by 12am on the weekends. There were a lot of hall parties close by, and my mom would let me go. Sometimes with the exception that she dropped me off and picked me up. During the week I didn't really go anywhere, and if I did, I had to be home before 8pm. Personally I think it's kind of odd to say that a 13 year old shouldn't be out unsupervised.. and even to say that 10pm is a good enough curfew for a 15, 16 or 17 year old. To answer your ? I don't think you should change the curfew that has been already set. Maybe talk to you DH about it, but don't go over his head and let her stay out later. *Teenagers are going to eventually do what they want, whether they have to sneak around or not, no matter how strict the rules are or aren't. Teaching the morals and responsibility and being open with them is usually what limits them from doing wrong... not 10pm curfews*
    JDanesMommy

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 12:55 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • 10 pm for a 13 year old????????? Holy crap, I think that's the curfew by law! There's no reason a 13 year old kid should be out past 10!
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 11:27 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • NO, your DH is right to want to be sure she has enough time to do her work and be in bed at a decent hour. It is NOT to early!!!

    NO, you should not adjust the curfew WITHOUT discussing it with your DH, especially on nights that he is not home. It will only cause issues, because your step DD is going to see it as 2 different rules. Rules for when Dad is home and Rules when Dad is NOT home; it will only cause resentment for the times that he is home.
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 11:29 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Wow, what's a 13 year old doing out until 10pm. I think that late if she's unsupervised. But with regard to changing it when your DH is out of town, I wouldn't without consulting him. It'll just cause problems between the two of you, and between him and your DD when he enforces the rules and you don't. I think it's best that these things are negotiated between both parents and the child together so that everyone knows the rules are the rules regardless.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 11:30 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Usually she goes out on Saturday to her friends house and they may go to the movies or mall. There was problems with some of her friends going out to older kids parties and being places where they shoudn't be, so he made the rule of 10 pm and no sleepovers at other friends houses, because a lot of these kids were being sneaky and sneaking out at night. So we go pick her up by 10 or she gets dropped off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Wow I think my curfew was 10 when I was 17!! Lucky kid! I must admit I was sneaking around too, having sex with my boyfriend too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Don't change the rules, when he is gone. She will think that you will let her get away with lots more. She might even think you don't care or don't want her around. 10pm is pretty late as it is, what will she want when she is 16. I know it sounds like all these responds are being hard on you for that late. We all have different thoughts and rules. I am not juding you, just looking at it differently.
    boysforme-4

    Answer by boysforme-4 at 11:38 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I think its too late. 13 is young. I had to be home by 11 until I graduated. When I was 13 I had to be home by dark. lol. That was a little ridiculous, but it kept me out of trouble.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 11:49 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I'm old fashioned...When the street lights come on...period...end of conversation...

    Star419

    Answer by Star419 at 11:54 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • well first of all as soon as my gets get home from skool its a snack and then homework they don't do anything til their homework is done. mine are 16 and 14 and even at those ages on weekdays they have to be in at 9 and in bed at 11 on weekends it is a litlle later but they have a routine and they are always usually in bed on the weekends the latest is 11:30 so for a thirteen year old i think it is too late
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 11:55 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

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