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I have a question about the possibility of adopting a tween-age Child

My 10-year old daughter would really like us to adopt a child her age to be her sister or brother, but preferably a sister so they can share rooms, but the situation is this: We are a very low-income family but we have a lot of love to give a child that needs it. I realize you need more than love in this economy, but my daughter has said that she wouldn't ask so often to have friends stay over if she had a sibling at home to play with. Sher says she gets lonesome being an only child and we can't physically have another child because I have had a hysterectomy for health reasons. I would really like some guidance on this issue.

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Mary67

Asked by Mary67 at 11:30 AM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Become as foster parent.
    MomShawn70

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 11:36 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • As a foster parent you have the unique opportunity to offer a child a stable home. And many of the children in the age group are adoptable. Your state should have a website for all the adoptable children in your state.
    Also the website adopt.org can get you on the right track.
    MomShawn70

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 11:41 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • So you are considering adopting a child just so the one you have can have a live-in friend? Sounds like a fantasy really...what if the dont get along? Is your daughter going to tell you to get a new one if she doesnt like the one you get? Now, if you are really interested in doing this because YOU and your husband want to then your daughter having a sibling to play with is just a bonus. This is about a child who needs a home, not a playmate for your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Honestly I think adopting a child so that your daughter has a playmate is the wrong reason to adopt. Children are not toys. What if your daughter decides she's bored with her or doesn't get along with her. O I see the poster above me already pointed this out. Get her a puppy, they''re cheaper.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:57 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • You need to research the issues that some (not all) children have who are adopted as teenagers. Thinking that you are going to adopt a child who will be happy to have a mom-dad- and new sister is most likely not the case. Many children from foster care come with baggage that requires strong parents, sometime counseling, and very understanding parents. Your daughter would now have a rival, someone to fight with, and have to be very understanding to the transition period and issues that the child may have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • foster they give you money and they let you adopt later, my sil had one adopted and has two new fosters. she had to one back but she knew this.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:49 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • i would consider adopting a younger sibling for your daughter. That way the child doesn't invade your daughters position as "oldest" and would still have her own place in your family. They would still be able to enjoy each others company but also be their own person. Your adopted daughter will need to know that you are not just adopting her for your daughter but that you want another child to love. She has to be a big priority . The transition will be hard for everyone in your family. Your adopted daughter would appreciated having her own place in your family and not have to compete.
    noaksmom

    Answer by noaksmom at 11:39 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • If your just doing it for a playmate for your kid you already have, well, sounds like a bad idea. Foster kids have enough problems sometimes w/out being put in a household where the bio kid could get mad & say "I was the one who wanted you and now I dont like you so I can get rid of you!"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I agree with the others. You have to do this because you want to be parents again, not to give you daughter a sibling. It will not be all fun and games. Older foster kids have serious emotional bagage. We adopted our daughter at age four when our older daughter was 7. The first year was hard on all of us, but heartbreakingly difficult on my older one sometimes. It is harder for kids to understand and accept the acting out that comes with older child. Read Adopting the Hurt Child and/or Parenting the Hurt by Regina Kupecky and Greg Keck to give you some ideas of what it would be like in reality.
    Christine
    www.christine-mitchell.com
    ForeverMom05

    Answer by ForeverMom05 at 1:45 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

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