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do you think this is normal for a 21 year old?

my daughter who just turned 21 has absolutely no social life , she has no friends , and she is always at home. she doesn't even hang out with her sister and her friends or talk to the rest of the family like her bro or other sister at all she is so secluded from everyone and never wants to talk or open up , she has always been quite by nature but I'm worried because she is 21 and really has no social life , is this normal?? P.S. a lot of people talked to me about this issue before , her sisters, teachers ,etc.. And i understand that she is a grown up and i don't intend to meddle in her life, am just worried.
thanks .

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (35)
  • No. She should want to be out doing SOMETHING. At 21 you couldn't keep me at home. I was always out hanging with friends when i wasn't at work. I think I was home like 8 hrs a day,and that was sleeping and showering.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:05 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Does she go to college? Church? Have a job? Foucus on that socialization first.

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 6:08 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • i'm not saying that at 21 you have to go out and get crazy, but to have some kind of social life would be great... i really don't think it's normal though only for the fact that she doesn't even talk to her own family... there might be more into it mentally only for the fact that when i'm depressed i shut everyone out... not saying that she is but it could be a sorce.

    Answer by Lynnsae at 6:10 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Maybe she is depressed or just shy? If she is depressed she needs help, It is not just something little. Depression is horrible!!

    Answer by momof051011 at 6:10 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • At 21 you reach a period where you feel pressure to "do something with your life" for others, and that can be depressing. Try to spend one on one time with her, doing activities that she likes. Don't force her to open up she will. Also, counseling always helps. There may be something that has happened that she is not comfortable discussing yet.

    Answer by jeroneka at 6:15 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Doesn't sound normal to me. Does she work? Any friends there? Would she be open to talking to a counselor? Just ideas. Good luck

    Answer by elizabr at 6:15 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • By that point, it was normal for me. But I was a HUGE partier before 21, so by that point I was ready to settle down. I got up, went to work, came home & chilled out... That was just about it. Of course I also wasn't living at home & I was just about married... So I was different. But honestly, alone doesn't mean unhealthy, it just means she is more comfortable without people around...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:25 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Try talking with her and offering her some help, such as counseling, etc. She sounds a bit withdrawn and depressed. Did she ever experience any trauma like past childhood sexual abuse or anything else that could have caused depression? Does she suffer from an eating disorder? Just wondering. Does she work or go to school? If she is in school she might just be conscientious. I hope things get better. Good luck.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 7:27 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • she sounds depresed

    Answer by randten at 1:12 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Yes, it's normal; maybe not for everyone, but for her. Some people just prefer their own company or they just don't get satisfaction out of surrounding themselves with a lot of people. It's not wrong or abnormal, it's her personality and unless she is doing harmful things to herself or others, you should accept her as she is and let her be. :)

    Answer by BaisMom at 1:16 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

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