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My niece is always so negative!

I have a 17 year old niece that is living with me right now, she has a 2 year old son. She is so negative with everything in her life. I know that it is probably the age for the most part. She has had 3 different jobs in the past 8 months. there is always something wrong with them. (I know, I know who likes there job). I have tried to get her help with apartments and she don't like this or that about the apartments. She financially cant afford a whole lot with the baby and all, but she is not willing to take just about anything. I can't get her to understand she should be thankful for what she does have and not complain about the things she don't. She is going through a custody battle right now with the babies father. She just had to put a protection of abuse against him as well. I know that life isn't that easy right now for her. I just keep praying! Anyone out there with some ideas on what I can do for h

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Asked by hodgkinrus6 at 10:06 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 13 (1,047 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Tough love her! Tell her life isn't all rosey and we don't always get what we want, tell her she has a baby to think about now not just her own selfish ass and you are doing her a favor by letting her stay there and trying to help her but if she doesn't shape up you will drop her and her baby off at the nearest homeless shelter. If she doesn't straighten up make good on that threat trust me she will be back at your door that same night my mom did it to me when I was 17 with a child.

    Answer by 405mom at 10:32 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I agree with the tough love. Try to give her a deadline for which she is expected to have things achieved. Not all at once, maybe start with a simple one at first. Make a list and one by one try to knock off an item. It may help to build her confidence as an adult and a mother to actually be able to focus on the things SHE is doing to achieve her goals. My prayers are with you both, good luck.

    Answer by smbarr at 1:04 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Try to help her with her confidence. She has a lot to deal with being 17 and having a two year old, fighting for custody with an abusive ex, and the job situation sounds awful. Be firm with her about working but I think the suggestion of dropping her and her child at a homeless shelter and calling her selfish is just mean and over the top. Think how you'd feel if that was your life at that age. You can be firm and still have compassion. That will go a lot farther than trying to be a hard a**.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Keep talking to her. Talk, talk, talk. GEt her to love that baby she has. She needs to be a good mom now. She needs a positive role model. Keep telling her things are going to get better. Give her a hug every once in a while too. She needs a supportive family around her.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:23 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • mmmegan38 I have done exactly that. I know that her life is not the best that it can be right know. I keep telling her she is an awesome mom, she is doing a great job, and that she will get there. I try to tell her that life is what she makes of it, and I was in her shoes at one time. I wanted so badly to show that I could do it. Apartments are not always the best looking and you really don't like them but if you can afford it take it. You will hate it and want to do better so you will do what you need to do to get something better. I just don't know what else to say to her to get her to see positive things in every negative.

    Comment by hodgkinrus6 (original poster) at 9:36 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • When she is in between jobs tell her she need to volateer at a local homeless shelter, maybe then the apartments you look at won't look so bad. When she talks to the people that live there, her job may not seem as bad.

    Answer by sheba1000 at 7:29 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

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