Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If your mother told you!!!

What would you think if your mother told you that she hated the two things that make you who you are and have been your whole life. My mother told me the other day that the thing she hated about me was my pride and the fact that I don't forgive and forget that easily. So my question is does that me that she hates me??

Answer Question

Asked by Marling at 10:36 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • No, it doesn't mean that at all. Just because you consider those traits to "make you" doesn't mean she does. She probably has other traits that she's sees as defining you. She's your mom, she loves you no matter what!!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:42 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • NO, I just think there's things about you she don't like but Im sure there is things about her you don't like

    Answer by raisingmen at 10:43 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I don't think that means she hates you, although that's a fucked up way to tell you that she doesn't understand your unforgiving nature

    Answer by AprylnAtticus at 10:44 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I don't think it means that she hates you. Hate is a pretty strong word, but I think what she was telling you that she hates a couple of your character traits. We often use the word hate to describe things we really only dislike. Some people even say they hate broccoli. I think that is probably the way your mom used the word hate when she spoke to you. I would take it at its face value and really begin to try to work on the pride issue and the unforgiving tendency. I am quite sure that she pointed those things out to you because she loves you and she knows that either of those characteristics will pull you down in life rather than help you get ahead, and she wants you to be the best that you can possibly be.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:45 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Wow. No, I don't think she hates you. And I hope she doesn't 'hate' those things about you. It seems rather selfish, to me, that she would say that to you. It seems she wants you to change those things about yourself, and you said yourself, those things make up you. Maybe you should ask her exactly what she meant by that, and why she feels that way. And tell her how it makes you feel. And if she still maintains that she 'hates' those things about you, tell her you 'hate' that she's that kind of mother. IDK, I hope she really doesn't feel that way!

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:45 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • My mother does hate a lot of those things which I hold the most pride in... I'm Bisexual & I'm Pagan - and very open about both... She's JW, so both of those things clash with her beliefs and feelings... Does it means she hates me? No, it just means she hates those aspects of me... But those aren't the only things that make up who I am, they are just parts... There's lots more to love! I can't imagine your mother & you are any different. Besides, I'm sure if you look there is at least 2 things about her that you "hate" as well.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:45 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • dnt understand your ? but pride is a good thing but not to much pride now on your forgetting and forgiving issue it is hard to forgive and forget but thats a must do in life if GOD is in your life and true forgivness is forgetting the things that has been done to you in your life and realize that some people look at you and wish they could bee as strong as of a person than you are and they see in you the things they wish they had your mom loves you she just missing some things in her life PRAY ABOUT IT

    Answer by keedy603 at 10:49 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • NO, those are just character traits!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:54 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Thank you to everyone that has responded. Okay, to answer some of the questions. I do forgive but it depends on what has been done to me. I was trashed on FB my my two sisters the day that she said that and there words to me were that I was dead to them & until I apologized for being how I am. I forgave my mother when she brought her boyfriend that molested me back into our house to live so if you ask me I am forgiving but I will not apologize for being how I am. I have helped them all when they have needed me. So if they all hate me for having pride, not forgiving or forgetting and as my sister put it being getto then so be it. By me being me I have taken care of them when they have need it. So sorry if I took it wrong but to me I can't hate things that make them how they are without hating them. I have hated one person in my like and I hated her characteristics & her so I don't see the difference. Thank you for your answers.

    Comment by Marling (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Forgiving is easy, it's the forgetting that's hard. Sometimes we all say things in the heat of the moment and we don't always realize until later what we said. Things happen in our lives that make us who we are, and nothing can change that. Some things are inborn and others are not. We are who we are, whether other people like it or not. I do believe that if people can't accept us for who we are, then it's their problem, not ours.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:42 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
how to respond?

Next question overall (Pregnancy)