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4 Bumps

I don't like her

I had a miscarriage recently and didnt tell my cousin because she is pregnant. i dont know if my dh told her husband (his very close cousin) but some of our relatives know that it may have happened.

anyway now i ended up giving my cousin all our baby things for her baby and she never even thanked me and i was so embarassed and saddened. i just kind of dont like her now. i cant even think of something to get her for christmas :/ we went over once since, and she and i barely spoke.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • It's possible she knew you lost your baby, and didn't know how to say thank you. But, it's possible she's just a snot. If you are the type that needs to talk about things, then talk with her. Get it out. And if she's just a snot, then you know you are totally justified in not liking her. But, you may not be able to let it go unless you do talk with her, so you may want to do it soon, before you have to see her around family, and have a blow up. And...I'm sorry you lost your baby:(
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 1:51 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Wow... that's HORRIBLE! If I had to see this person on a regular basis, I would HAVE to have a confrontation--a peaceful but direct one saying "What is between us? We need to talk!" And if I couldn't get to at least a courteous solution, I would have to stay away from her.

    On the OTHER hand, I would be wondering if maybe she just was really awkward and had no idea what to say because of your loss and so didn't say anything. People can be weird that way.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:39 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I'm sorry for your loss..and I agree with what firenicecream said.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 11:55 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I don't have any advice but I am sorry for your loss.
    colesmommy2009

    Answer by colesmommy2009 at 11:36 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I think you should stay away from her a while. If they ask why, tell them. If they don't ask why you ar not coming around, continue to stay away. Nothing good can come of you telling her how you feel about her baby and your loss and her ungreatfulness.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 11:36 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • thanks. i was so afraid the first answers would be to grow up
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:39 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I'm sorry hun! It's so hard loosing a child no matter how soon it happens.
    That said I'm going to be a bit frank. If you didn't personally tell her you can't expect her to really know. And on top of that with her being pregnant she may feel bad that she didn't loose hers too. She may just not know what to say or do or anything. It's not a cut and dry situation. I would just sit her down and tell her your self. Let her know that she has nothing to be sorry for because she didn't cause it and that there's no need for any weirdness. Then just ask her if she appreciates the baby stuff.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 11:39 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I can understand why that would upset you. You made a huge gesture that also meant letting go of something so precious that you lost, and she didn't even have the good graces enough to thank you? It might be time to confront her and explain it to her. Yes, it will be hard, but it clear the air, and you'll be more likely to be close again.
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is so difficult, and the last thing you need is someone diminishing that.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:41 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Sounds like miscommunication amongst family. It may very well be that she was upset that you didn't tell her about your loss and she had to find out from someone else, I know you are hurting hun and the worst thing is to hurt w/o the people you love. You should probably swing by and take her to lunch one day where you 2 can talk, Tell her how you feel and that you need emotional support right now tell her that it was hard for you to give her the things intended for your own child and for her to not thank you for it cut your wounds even deeper. I hope you can work it out GL.
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 11:41 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • Maybe keep your distance for a while if it makes you comfortable. You can't excuse her behavior, but possibly she doesn't know how to act around you since she is still pregnant and you aren't? I understand a miscarriage is very difficult to go through. Even though I went through it, I don't really know how to be around others who have just gone through it. I know I didn't want to be around people and didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to see babies. She may just be uncomfortable? How was your relationship before?
    Desi_Momof4

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 11:42 PM on Nov. 13, 2010