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2 Bumps

How do you deal with being away from your SO for long periods of time?

My fiance decided he wanted to go to trucking school to be a truck driver. We agreed that it would benefit our family and make us stronger but he has only been gone a day and I am going crazy. He will be in Utah for almost 2 months (i am in TEXAS!). So how do you cope with them being gone for so long. I could not imagine how some wives must feel when their SO gets deployed.

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colesmommy2009

Asked by colesmommy2009 at 11:39 PM on Nov. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • When hubby and I got along and our relationship was good it was good. He was deployed for 9 months while I raised out 4 month old daughter. It was hard. I actually went to school and got a job to keep myself occupied. I just kept busy as much as possible and tried not to think about it.
    Now that we are divorcing and he's on his 2nd deployment I'm celebrating. Even if we were getting along our 2 kids keep me to busy I never think about him being gone. He's been gone so much it's like second nature to me.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:47 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • It's just something you learn to deal with. Keep yourself busy, volunteer, etc. I've been deployed once and my husband has done two 7 month deployments to Iraq. If you have a good support network with friends and family it will make things better. I did not have that in VA because all of my family was in the midwest. It gets lonely but you have to keep your spirits up. Exercise and remember time marches on.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 11:48 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • It's hard (I've been through my Husband doing a year-long deployment to Iraq, as well as a couple months of schooling and then several months of training for the job He has now)..We didn't have Our Son yet when He was deployed, so I had to learn to keep myself busy..then the other times I had lots to do with my Son and neighbors and Family to keep me company at night when I couldn't sleep. Just gotta take it a day at a time, stay occupied, and always make sure to keep things pleasant when you get to talk to him. Arguing while apart is never fun and makes things harder for all. Good luck, hun.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 12:05 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • i don't think i could handle that... i can't even handle a weekend without him.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 12:09 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I also have a second nature to not acknowledge him. Since the day we got engaged, we have been apart. When i was pregnant i was wtih my parents not with him. After having baby i was with my parents for 6 months so he could work while my parents helped me with my infant.

    Most of all, The worst part is.....i feel we are apart living with him even under the same roof.

    sony9

    Answer by sony9 at 12:16 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I used to ask my friend the same question- and then I became a Marine - and then I married a Marine. Its hard, but not THAT hard. I was pregnant the first deployment... just had to keep busy with work and I took a Child Development class at a Community College.

    I'm currently surviving his second deployment keeping busy with work, 2 kids, cleaning house, and just signed up for 2 online college classes. But- what is it that drives you crazy about him being gone? Just the company, or sex, or?
    MommyHimes86

    Answer by MommyHimes86 at 12:22 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • You just deal with it. My husband works out of state. We've seen him twice since August. We *might* get to see him for Thanksgiving. I'm not saying it's easy, because it's not. The stresses of having two kids, two dogs, five horses, chickens, hauling hay, hauling firewood, taking care of all the animals and being pregnant on top of it all? Not easy at all. But you buck up and deal. We're just glad that he has moved to a different job where he gets cell service. At the last job, we had to wait til he was back to the house where he was staying before we could talk to him, which was rare. You'll have days that SUCK, and going to bed alone every night gets lonely. But for the most part, you get into a routine and go on, life as usual!
    MommaTurbo

    Answer by MommaTurbo at 12:23 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I used the time to get stuff done around the house w/o him in my hair. I could hog the TV, the computer, go to my sewing machine, lay crap all over the dining room table, and I knew I wasn't bothering anyone. The dogs didn't care. I'd use the time to clean or do my hobbies. I'd go out with friends, maybe go out to dinner, call people I hadn't talked to in a while. I just kept busy.
    TwoBrownDogs

    Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 12:37 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • My SO was incarcerated for 18months and that was the longest we had ever been away from each other. I cried for days at first because I missed him, but over time I got better. We talked on the phone and wrote to each other daily, but I basically either worked or devoted my free time to my kids. We would do things like have famil game night and stuff like that just so that i wouldn't just focus on the fact that he wasn't going to walk through the front door at any time because I used to walk to the front door and just look out of it thinking that he was going to pull up and walk through the door (it took me a while to stop doing that).
    dirtyswifey10

    Answer by dirtyswifey10 at 12:59 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Think of all the things he does that drive you NUTS. And consider this a vacation for you from cooking and cleaning and stressing out....:-) outta get you through a few rough days.
    momma_shuler

    Answer by momma_shuler at 12:31 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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