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i love my husband profusely BUT (TMI) adult content

i just dont want to have sex with him lately. i havent initiated it in the past couple weeks and when he does it makes me feel unconfortable. im not pregnant nor am i on birth control so i dont think i can blame this on hormones :p (we use condoms)

i really do love him and i can tell that being so unresponsive makes him feel self conscious, has anyone been in my position? please tell me its a phase :)

 
pookipoo

Asked by pookipoo at 12:27 AM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Ooooh honey, you know you could of talked to me. I miss you pooki.
    I think too, its just a phase your going through. Inbox me ANYTIME!!!

    Sometimes you just don't want sex. Maybe you need a bit more to be "ready."

    As another lady said, a back rub...or "teasing" lol, could help get you more into the "MOOOOOD"
    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 8:22 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • it could be lots of things...hormones, stress, insecurities about your body, problems in your relationship, etc. im a big believer in giving your SO (especially your DH) sex whenever he wants it unless you have a very serious medical reason not to though, and alot of the time its when i dont really want it that the sex ends up being the best! maybe you could ask your hubby to do some things to get you warmed up like a back rub or a little more foreplay of your choice. i also find that flirting with my SO throughout the day boosts my sex drive because libido is just as much mental as it is physical and thinking about it all day helps to build the excitement. also, getting a toy and exploring yourself can help you want it more. sex is one of those things that the more you do it, the more you want it....hope that somehow helps.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 12:51 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Have you had a baby recently?
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 12:31 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • It's happened to me before. With me, it passed after just a little while. It really could just be hormones, we do have ebbs & flows even if we're not on birth control. & if you've been stressed out lately, it could be that too. A lot of the time, I was much more willing after a good hot shower, when I was shaved & lotioned & felt fresh. I hope it gets better! Hugs chica.
    KA91

    Answer by KA91 at 12:32 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • by the way i never got to that point yet i love sex its my hubby who doesnt want it as much as me he tells me he dnt knw where i come from cuz i love se so much
    keedy603

    Answer by keedy603 at 1:54 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • is it the condoms? And why do you use condoms?
    MommyHimes86

    Answer by MommyHimes86 at 12:34 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Pull and pray is definitely not a good choice when you aren't ready for another. I don't know if the condoms could be causing you to not like sex as much right now. There are so many things out there that you might want to try such as the His and Her KY jelly that supposedly makes you spin in circles. There are Kama Sutra books that could teach you new positions you might like. Maybe it's something having to do with the connection you are feeling with your DH lately and the Love Dare from the movie Fireproof could be a powerful investment into your marriage. Try new things, but even more than that, keep your communication with your hubby open. Talk to him about everything. Be honest with him. Maybe he'll want to try something new himself to spice it up for you. Hold him close- this will all pass, I'm sure of it.
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 12:43 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Probably just a phase, I sometimes get like that when its close to that time of the month. I think you'll snap out of it!
    JakesCupcake

    Answer by JakesCupcake at 12:51 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • it could be lots of things...hormones, stress, insecurities about your body, problems in your relationship, etc. im a big believer in giving your SO (especially your DH) sex whenever he wants it unless you have a very serious medical reason not to though, and alot of the time its when i dont really want it that the sex ends up being the best! maybe you could ask your hubby to do some things to get you warmed up like a back rub or a little more foreplay of your choice. i also find that flirting with my SO throughout the day boosts my sex drive because libido is just as much mental as it is physical and thinking about it all day helps to build the excitement. also, getting a toy and exploring yourself can help you want it more. sex is one of those things that the more you do it, the more you want it....hope that somehow helps.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 12:53 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • i haven't been feeling it lately either. i have been extremely stressed and he hurt my feelings so i can't see him in the good light i used to. so i have shut down. i do agree that it is just a phase and that either way you should give him sex anyway. you don't want to hurt his male ego. you love him make him happy even if it' not fun to you. sometimes when i don't want to i sell give it to him and sometimes i get into it and turns out fun but like i said lately it's just (him speaking: i can tell your not into this) yeah i'm not so can we stop. good luck. just try and see.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:03 AM on Nov. 14, 2010