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worrying about the future

I have sole legal and physical custody of my son. Due to work options and a chance at a better life for us, I've recently been looking into moving out of CA. My ex has "visitation within reason" though he rarely if ever uses it. He moved last year to WA, but is back now with no job and is living with his girlfriend and her grandfather. He's been hospitalized twice in the 6yrs since our divorce for attempted suicide. I worry deeply about my son's well being, but because he's made so little effort to even talk to our son, I've made no changes to the custody/visitation agreement. I've been doing my research and since he has some visitation rights I can't move without his permission. I don't think he'd honestly fight me, but if he did, how hard would it be for me to win?

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Asked by PhantomsFairie at 12:50 AM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (154 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • well if you have documented how much or rather how little time he has seen your son including when he lived out of state and i would mention to courts the attempted suicide. i would go for it and just file what ever papers needed should he fight you on it to get visitation changed or his rights severed. i know the judge would prefer that the father has a relationship with his son and vise versa but if the father isn't doing his part i think he would be sympathetic to your situation and would mostly grant you what you asked for. so maybe you could ask that his father has visitation over the summer. i would think the father wouldn't want this anyway. i would go ask the father first. i think he would do the right thing and let his son go with his mother.

    Answer by melody77 at 12:59 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • it really depends more on the judge than anything, but if you can prove that the move is "in the best interest of the child" then you should win. be sure you're prepared to present info on where you will live, work, and what kind of childcare you will have if any. you need to show that you have a plan and are not moving on a whim. if you have family or close friend in the area that will help provide some support be sure to bring that up too. also look into the schools in the area and have some knowledge of that as well.

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 1:02 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Thank you for your input. I've spent my evening talking with relatives who think that I'm worrying over nothing. They believe that his apathy would lead him to sign the papers without contesting my request. My confidence was boosted with the knowledge that even his family would stand behind me and my decision.

    Comment by PhantomsFairie (original poster) at 1:03 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I agree if you do your reserch as to where you are going, jobs, housing, that sort of thing and with how little he's seen his son and the fact he's tried to kill himself more that once and if you can convince the court thats the move is in the best interest of the child you should have no problem winning.

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 12:14 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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