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I think I have to get a divorce.

My husband has been texting a women. Said it didn't mean anything, he loves me, will never do it again, it never went beyond texting....blah, blah, blah.

I hate for our family to fall apart but I don't think I can live with this. Has anyone been through this? Did you divorce?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • i think your giving up to quickly. it seems very petty to give up over something so trivial. just make sure he stops. you could go get therapy to figure out why he does it or did it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:54 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • hey i have been through the same thing.... my husband was doing that with an old friend hat knew he would never do any thing with...but it still hurt he also spent the night at her house with other guys but he didnt tell meabout til he got cought.... i just told him one more time and im gone i even packed some of mine and my girls clothes just so he would know i was for real it worked b/c he has totally acted different if you ever need to talk message me i know how you feel
    klinemom2

    Answer by klinemom2 at 12:54 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I agree w/ melody77. I would keep in eye on him for sure......ANY change of action....bed, coming in late from work, any wierd behavior........

    And if he has cheated before, I would really watch his behavior.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I would tell him that it's unacceptable behavior for a husband and that you will not tolerate it and if he does it again the consequences are such that you will leave and he will lose his family. I'm not sure men understand what they will lose if they don't cut the crap. Say it clearly so he understands and say it in a tone where he knows you mean business. Give the man a chance to prove himself. We all make mistakes. He had his mistake now let him take the rest of your life to make it up to you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:59 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • He hasn't cheated before THAT I KNOW OF. I don't know how to make sure he has stopped, other than taking his word for it and that doesn't mean a whole lot right now. I can check is phone and the bill, but now that he knows that I have done that I don't think he would use his phone. I just don't know how I'm going to live with this day in and day out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • LOOK AT THE PHONE BILL TO SEE WHO HOW MANY TIMES HE HAS DONE THIS GET HER NUMBER AND CALL !!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Divorce is the last resort...there are many steps between "texting a woman" and divorce court.
    Do you love him? Is he good to you? Is he a good father/husband? Is your marriage worth fighting for? Ask yourself: am I better off with him or better off without him?

    Yes, it hurts. Yes, you feel unsure of yourself...but look at this as a warning sign that you and he have to work at your marriage to make it solid enough to keep temptations out.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 1:17 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Girl I know it sucks! I know what it is like to have that kind of pain. The day to day is hard to get through. I am going through my own pain with my hubby and his stupidity right now. It is very hard to deal with sometimes. I just wanted to let you know your not alone. There are more of us out her fighting our feelings too. Stay strong, and keep searching your heart. What will be, will be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • He is good to me in every other aspect. He is a good father and a hard worker. He says he doesn't know why he did it. We discussed it very calmly. I was hoping to find a problem and fix it, but it's so hard when he can't say why he did it.

    Thank you all for your kind words. Today is a hard day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • if it were me i wouldn't give up yet, but obviously there is something going on in your relationship that needs to be addressed before something else does happen. you need to choose whether or not you believe him. i recommend getting some couples counseling to strengthen your marriage or at least to talk about both of your feelings about this.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:31 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

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