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For spanking mothers- Are hands only for loving?

Do you believe that hands are only for loving? Do you use a tool such as a switch, pencil, spatula, etc. ? Or do you think there's nothing wrong using your hand? Or find using any kind of switch wrong? I've been told both sides by mothers that use spanking as discipline.

 
thelowlander

Asked by thelowlander at 2:52 AM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,349 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • A swat on the butt or on the back of their hand is NOT going to damage their psyches! I've never/will never use a switch. Because I spanked sparingly and for good reason--i.e. trying to push toddler brother down stairs, pulling away and running through a busy parking lot or into traffic, just the THREAT of getting a spanking is enough for them! In other words, because my demeanor and tone of voice changed drastically, followed by a swat on the butt, that was rare but memorable, they learned quickly to never do it again!

    I seriously think mothers need to stop reading all of the modern child psychology books, and go back trusting and believing in their God-given common sense, intuition and instincts!! I can guarantee my mother and grandmother, following a spanking, NEVER reflected back and said--"Oh my, I may have just destroyed my child's trust in me, and their fear of me is making them feel oppressed, sad and resentful!" LOL
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:40 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I will only spank with an open hand, I do not believe objects should be used.
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 3:03 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I have heard the reasoning that hands should be for loving but I will not use an object to spank my kids. They know that Mom is a loving nurturing person but disciplinarian also goes along with that. They can differentiate and would never fear my hand because it is used sparingly.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 3:12 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • We spank/whap with open hand - not s'much a spanker as a swatter.

    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 8:22 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I agree with LoriKeet's answer. It depends on the child, too. Some respond to time out, but some require spanking. I have 4 grown children and have debated this topic when they were little. Three out of the 4 got an occasional spanking because punishment (putting them in their rooms, time outs) didn't seem to work. They entertained themselves! My first child hated being punished so that's what I'd use for discipline for him. By the time I had my fourth one, I would use a certain tone of voice that meant business and count to three. I really never would get to 3 because just the threat seemed to work. Be firm and consistent and, yes, trust your instincts.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 9:09 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • spanking does nothing positive (at least for me it didn't), only made me resent my parents and teach me to be more careful about getting caught. Didn't help.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:00 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I believe there is a time for spanking. If time outs or taking away favorite toy ect doesnt seem to have an effect on the child, the spanking should be done with your hand on the butt. I dont feel spanking should be done all the time because in away i feel that it doesnt teach the child really anything, because hitting is not ok. But sometimes, some kids need to know that they are not the boss & need to listen to the parents.
    kcush10

    Answer by kcush10 at 10:42 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Spanking occasionally with the hand, not on the bare butt, at times is effective but not if it is a result of the Mom's anger. Then it becomes abuse,
    I was born in the 1940's and My Mom didn't believe in spanking either ( although she says she did spank me once)and she was more likely to give me a "Look" and make me feel bad . I was a pleaser and felt sad if I knew I upset my parents and didn't please them,so I didn't need spankings. Same with my brother. We were not raised with any "New ,modern methods" and my Mom wasn't even thinking about my self esteem. SHe just raised us to be good and obedient.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 11:21 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Zoeyis- did your parents do it spur of the moment out of frustration
    thelowlander

    Comment by thelowlander (original poster) at 11:58 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • When we did spank our kids it was with a hand. Honestly, it's been years since either one got a spanking, because at their age other forms of discipline work better. But, since they have been raised to respect others and their things, very little discipline is needed.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 12:28 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

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