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would you leave your DH if ? need advice a.s.a.p

he hardly drinks but these past 2 days he has over done it like today we came home & my dh collpsed on the bed thts how drunk he was :/ and my DD whos 22 mos got on the bed nxt to him i decided to go get her bottles which were in the fridge and when i come back my husband! moved & hit my DD in her face hard my reaction was to tell him off(which i nvr do) and grab my DD and check her while shes crying to mke sure shes ok. my 3 yr old DS was in the livingroom. I kicked him out cus im 6 mos pregnant too i dont even want to see him. i dnt need to babysit him too.. worst part he works today and he will get fired if he doesnt show up or goes late to wrk which i think he wont get up even if i try to wake him up :( NEED ADVICE DESPERATLY! PLEASE NO BASHING I FEEL HORRIBLE ALREADY... & CNT TALK TO MY UNSUPPORTIVE FAM. EITHER ALL I COULD DO RIGHTNOW IS CRY ... :'(


Asked by Anonymous at 4:21 AM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think its never appropriate to drink yourself out of your mind. Hes an adult and a father of almost three. He should know better than that.
    Talk to him about it as soon as he sobers up.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 7:56 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • well if he hardly drinks and just started drinking heavyly 2 days ago there might be something going on with him..have you try to talk to him and ask him if there is something bothering him?? im not to sure about you ending it..try to talk to him first figure out whats going on and why he drinking all of a sudden-- im sorry that he hit your daughter but was that a accident or on purpose?? dont stress alot you prego and its bad for the baby and you.. talk to him and make sure he goes in to work you dont wnat to stress out about money in your stage right-- hes a grown man he knows he gots to go in to work --just like he decided to drink

    Answer by Genesis29 at 4:43 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Make sure he gets up for work. You don't need the financial stress right now. Talk to him when he is sober and awake. He needs to know that what he is doing is hurting your family. Hitting your daughter is wrong, Did he hit her..or just knock her over in his drunken state? (I'm not excusing his behaviour..but I would leave my husband if he hits my children..but not if he was drunk and knocked her over. I would ask him to get some help.)
    I there a reason why your husband is drinking all of a sudden? If this becomes regular maybe he needs some addiction counseling and help.

    Answer by tobys.mommy at 4:30 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • My first question is this - did he hit her because he, say, his drunk butt rolled over and he flung an arm and hit her, or did he hit her because he was drunk and decided to hit her? Not that either one is a good thing, but...

    If he hit her "on purpose" - sorry, but that's the end, he needs to go. If it was a drunken accident, then, once he's sober, I would tell him exactly what he did, and explain to him that you love him, but that you already have 2 babies with a 3rd on the way, and that you can't continue like this. See if there's a reason, and talk about a better solution to whatever (IF there's a reason...) Explain, nicely but firmly that you certainly CANNOT have a situation where your kids are getting hurt because of drunken irresponsibility.

    Tell him that everyone makes a mistake, so, ok, but if he EVER gets this drunk again, you and the kids are gone.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:38 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • You said this is out of the ordinary so for him to be drunk for two days probably means rhere is an underlying problem. First things first...if you know where he is then get his but to work. Secondly, when he gets done (hungover and tired or not) you need to sit down with him and figure out why the last 2 days have been like this. Also if he hit your daughter on purpose I would have kicked his sorry ass out too. What he did (getting wasted) in front of his kids like that is inappropriate and he needs to understand that.

    Im 7 months prego so I understand why you blew up and are so upset. Just try and take a deep breath, stay calm and get to the bottom of this. Bol!

    Answer by randibosin at 7:46 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I'd leave him. That's my personal choice though.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:52 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I agree with the first answer. Definitely talk to him and find out what's going on to bring about this behavior. Good luck.

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:59 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • i woudn't leave him for an addiction unless i tried for years to help him & nothing worked. He is my partner & if he needs help, i will help him. BUT, if i cannot help him & his choices are brigning our whole family down...then yes, i would leave him. But, i would give him a chance & try to help with his addiction. That's what friends are for.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:25 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Make sure his a** gets up and out to work then when he gets home talk to him

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:53 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • i wouldnt leave him if he does not normally behave like this...i would find some time to talk to him alone, either after the kids are in bed or drop them off at a family members house for the afternoon if possible. there is probably something going on that he doesnt know how to cope with. you need to figure out what the problem is and make a plan TOGETHER. what worries me even more than his behavior is that your reaction to ONE incident is to leave and tear your family apart. if this were an ongoing thing that he refused to get help with then by all means leave...but if your instinct is to even consider leaving when problems arise without trying EVERYTHING to fix it, then you have bigger problems in your marriage than his recent binge drinking. the man is lost and crying out for dont want to abandon him and tear your family apart unless it is an absolute last resort!

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 3:24 PM on Nov. 14, 2010