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Please Help Me!!!!

Ok heres the deal, me and my friend have been friends for about 10 yrs. She meet a guyand they got married about a mo. later. He is a really big A** hole. You know the kind, if you catch a fish his is always bigger. Well he has two really bad kids that she takes care of 24/7 . Her whole family(witch she can only see when he says she can) hates him. he will not let her work or do anything but take care of his two kids. He does not even want he to go to her O.B ( witch is a female by the way) b/c he should be the only one down there. now she is prago for his. I no she is not happy and is really making a big mistake. But she will not lisen. What can I tell her to make her understand that this is not how a relationship should be.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Unfortunately there is not much you can do! People in this situation feel very out of control. You can just continue to tell her how much you disagree with the way things are going and try to encourage her to have some love for herself! You have to definitely convince her that she has to sneak to the OBGYN for check-ups on her pregnancy, for God's sakes! I'm sorry she is having a baby with that jerk. Now she is REALLY tied to him. Lord help her.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:31 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Maybe at this point she's too scared to leave and doesn't know how.. he seems waaaay too controlling. Do you have anything to offer her.. like a room to rent out or something?
    anestheticsex

    Answer by anestheticsex at 1:04 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Denial is a safe place for women who are being abused and controlled. They are convinced all will be will in time or if she does the right things for him. I'm not sure there is anything you can do until she is ready to listen. She needs to get with a domestic violence shelter counselor. She also needs to tell her OB how hubby feels so she'll know what's up. Domestic violence isn't always hitting. It's controlling and manipulating and verbally abusing, keeping her as his personal prisoner. I hope she listens to you one day soon.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:06 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • You can't really change her mind. All you can do is support and listen and advise...As hard as it is to watch, that is all you can do. But I would SOMEHOW make her, take her, SOMETHING to an OB w/out letting him know.

    GOOD LUCK~control freaks hater
    racingmomma

    Answer by racingmomma at 1:07 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Ya she wont leave his she thinks nothing is wrong, This was here first boyfriend ever
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Be careful because if you try to tell her what to do or say that he's a bad person she might get defensive and block you out. Just try to be there for her and let you know you're there to help. Maybe mention that there's always room for her on your couch if you need it. If you feel his kids or her unborn child are in harm call DCF though.
    sbastille

    Answer by sbastille at 1:07 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • you can't change her sight in the matter and she has been preyed upon by someone that knew she was weak and had low self esteem. maybe in some sick way she is happy in all this. at least for the time being when it gets worse then she will get a clue.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:22 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • all you can do is be supportive. bashing the guy will only make her stick harder. in order for her to get out she needs to feel she has options and support. find ways to let her know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. he is abusive and controlling. where is the other mom? unfortunately there is nothing you can do really other than give her information to help her... she has to figure it out for herself.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:23 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Until your friend has decided she has had enough there is nothing you or anyone can do or say that's going to change the situation.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 1:27 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • you might check on the laws... keeping someone from receiving medical care is a big no-no. and she is pregnant - very important for her to get care. does he think he's going to deliver the baby himself?? could that be considered child abuse/neglect if she doesn't get care?
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:33 PM on Nov. 3, 2008