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What can I say to my sister inlaw who just found out her 2 year old has autism?

I just found this out last night and I feel so sad for her and her husband, I can't imagine how they must feel. Luckily their son is getting alot of services which should help alot, but it's not going to change the fact that he will never be normal and won't have much of a future. The parents are both doctors and very will educated, which is what I'm sure they had dreamed about their son being too. The husband is also very into sports and was excited about getting his son involved. It must feel like a part of them has died when they received their sons diagnoses.

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prettybaby1

Asked by prettybaby1 at 8:34 AM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 9 (181 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • OK, first,,,,,,, He can have a "normal' life and he has the chance at a great future!!! My son is autistic and I have never thought that he didn't have a future.


    Just be there for them. It is a hard thing to hear but there is lots out there for him and them. The best thing YOU can do is not treat them or their son any different. That's the hardest thing, when people feel sorry for you and look at you and your child different.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 8:40 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Wow. Not much of a future? Won't be normal? Please, do me a favor and don't talk to her at all until you educate yourself.

    My son has autism. No, he's not what most people would consider normal, but really, who is?? I actually feel blessed to have him in my life. He makes profound observations that most people miss. He's smart and does well in school. He's helpful to his teachers and to his peers. He is helpful to me and to his baby brother.

    He is a joy to be around most of the time. He makes people smile with his offbeat observations. He is the MOST loving child you will ever meet.

    Do we have our moments? Sure, but it is a process. He has come a long way since his diagnosis and he makes huge steps every day. Do I know what the future holds? No, but he had a family that is loving and supportive and I know that will carry him far.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:41 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I hate when people say they are sorry to hear that he has autism, because I'm not sorry. He is truly a blessing to me and to my family.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:43 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I have twin Aspies, and they are doing quite well and they will continue to do well. You need to learn what the Autism Spectrum entails. Everyone within that spectrum reacts to it and treatments differently. No 2 Autistic kids are the same. So you cannot generalize and make assumptions. Get educated on it before jumping to uneducated assumptions about something you know very little about beyond what you've "heard" or seen sometimes on tv.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:44 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • My thoughts exactly layh. Prettybaby...I can tell that you have never been around autistic children before. You wait...that little boy is a gift from God and he will continue to be the light of their life no matter what.
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 8:46 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Oh, and please read this and share this with her. I have shared this with many families and they have all appreciated it. http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/welcome-to-holland.html

    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:47 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Oh, and my son LOVES sports. We even take him to live sporting events. He's already gearing up for football today. He likes the Raiders. *sigh* At least it's not the Cowboys......
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:49 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • And my sons have no interest in sports but are near genius level IQs, very scientific, love to read, figure out how things work... thats how inventions and things get made...by people like that.

    Someone needs to compile a small list of famous people that contributed to society in a positive have that were on the Spectrum. I know there's been alot.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:54 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I'm sorry if I offended anyone and I will try to to get more info on autism. I'm a substitute teacher and I have seen many children with Autism, most of them don't speak and have frequent tamtrums and require an aid. I'm glad his parents are getting him alot of services and early intervention, which is the best thing that they can do for him, but I can't help feel sad for them and I sence alot of sadness in them too.
    prettybaby1

    Comment by prettybaby1 (original poster) at 8:57 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • What can you do? You can encourage her to use all early interventions available and to not allow him (or anyone in the family) to use autism as an excuse for failure, bad behavior, or any other problems that may arise. An autistic child needs to learn the same things that other children need to learn and while it may take them longer, they are capable. Unless the child has severe autism, a good life is possible. And what can you say to "fix it"? nothing. Sometimes it's best to just give a hug and be there for a person.
    lovesergei

    Answer by lovesergei at 9:01 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

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