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bonding with stepchildren help?

my husband is wonderful.. he tries so hard to take care of us and do all that he can to make us comfortable. i have a son from a previous relationship and he's 4 now.. my husband has been in his life since he was 1. but he has confessed to me that it is really hard for him to bond with DS. it makes him sad because he has been trying so hard but he just doesn't feel connected to him. who has stepchildren experience that can give me some tips to give him? it makes me sad to not have part of my family connect

Answer Question
 
khmymommi

Asked by khmymommi at 9:07 AM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 12 (855 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I have a son that was 4 when my now DH came into our lives....My son still regularly sees his father. but my husband has a very different sort of relationship with him...Like a friend or a brother. they love each other very much but they are not father and son. The relationship they have also grew on it's own. we didnt force anything or try too hard we just let it happen naturally. They have a wonderful relationship and my son is 10 now. I also noticed that as my son got older and could appreciate the fun things with my husband they got even closer. (sports and video games)
    Finkette

    Answer by Finkette at 9:18 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • He is still young.

    The only way your DH is going to bond with him more, is if he spends more 1 on 1 time with him. What are some of your DH's hobbies? He should be including your son in these hobbies with him. If your son takes an interest in something your DH is interested in, it might spark a connection. It's the step parents duty to create this bond, children need to learn to trust the adults in their life. Your son cannot make the bond happen, but your husband can. He just needs to put effort into it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:45 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • The fact that he is admitting it and feeling bad is a really good sign. It means that he really is a good person and wants to try. It is just hard for some men to accept children that are not their own. I don't really know what to tell you, just keep allowing them to have bonding time alone together.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 8:47 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • i'm not sure... but here's a bump
    asil

    Answer by asil at 12:00 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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