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How do you survive being the stepmother to a problem child?

My step son moved in with us 4 months ago and it has been horrible. He lies and he steals, including going into my 17 year olds purse.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It's often hard to empathize or look at how someone else is feeling. A boy (9-12) has a lot of feelings particularly about his mother, father, woman who is replacing his mother, being told what to do, etc. Sometimes as parents we thing only with blinders on and focus on demanding obedience and respect instead of taking a step back and CONNECTING as human beings. He has to be able to trust you to bond with you. Think of how you felt at his age, listen to him and his feelings, genuinely try to care about him and earn his trust. If someone trusts you, they are more likely to listen and remember you teach by example. If he feels judged, criticized, resented, he will respond in like manner.
    carol2m2

    Answer by carol2m2 at 4:28 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like you don't really want it to work. Obviously this kid has some issues, try to taking the time to figure out what's going and then you can work on fixing it.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:09 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • by letting bio-dad handlt most of the problems, you'll just be resisted as the Stepparent.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:09 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Honestly, the first thing you are going to have to do is change your prespective. If you keep thinking of him as a 'problem child' it'll just make things harder and possibly have him living up to the label. Try thinking of him as a diamond in the rough.
    Then, get together with your husband and set firm, clear rules and consequences. You BOTH need to be on board with this. Your hubby needs to be the main disciplinarian, but he needs to be clear to his son that you have the right to enforce rules if DH is not around. Then, be consistent in enforcement. Good luck.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:10 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • how old is he?
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 10:16 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • by setting out of the way and letting his FATHER deal with him......
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:10 AM on Nov. 15, 2010