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Doomed to fail?

I am at a complete loss. My 9 yo has not been doing well in school. No matter what I have tried, he is still doing badly. His grades on his papers that come home are sporadic, an A here, an E there, lots of C and D's, with few B's. His progress report was two B's, two C's a D and an E. It seems like he is not trying. Like he doesn't care. No matter WHAT we say to him, he continues to do badly. We have tried everything I can think of. Punishment - took away all video game systems. Incentive - He will get his video games back when his grades improve, and also, I told him for every A on his report card, I would give him 5 dollars, and his grandpa said that he would match that! So for every A, he has a chance to get 10$!! I have tried sitting down and talking to him about it reasonably, I have yelled at him out of frustration (I know that doesn't do ANYTHING...)
I need suggestions! And please no jumping to ADDADHD.


Asked by mistical_me at 11:48 AM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 16 (2,341 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • If his grades were really good and then they just fell off, it sounds like he might have a problem going on in his life. Things that are important to him, might seem mundane or unreasonable to someone our age. I would talk to his teacher(s) first to see if they have any insight. Often times a teacher observing the whole classroom will know who has a crush on who, who is fighting, who is getting bullied or picked on etc. Whether that works or not, get his assignments emailed to you EVERY day and set aside a time each day that you/he will work on them together. He probably won't like it, but it's an incentive for him to focus and do better on his own and you can ensure that he gets his work done and that he understands it. Lastly, take a time when you two are alone and have a (calm and understanding) talk to see what might be bothering him. Make it a safe environment for him to feel he can open up to you. Tell him you love him.

    Answer by carol2m2 at 4:18 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I hardly know any kids that truely love school. You could try setting sometime aside and helping him. I wouldnt get too upset it could be frusterating for him too. What ever subject he;s having problems with should be the subjects that are given more focus. Try to make learning fun. You kneo what he's interested in. If he has a problem in I dont know history, matbe put on a play about what he's learning in that class. I mean I wouldnt put any effort into anything I wasn't interested in. So make learning fun for him.

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 12:05 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Make an appointment and speak with his teacher. At this age there is a lot more organization and responsibility needed to succeed in school and peer pressure starts to kick in. Find out how he is working in school and what the teacher recommends. Also talk to your son at a time when things are not too stressful. Ask his opinion about what's going on and try to come up with a solution together.
    Good luck!

    Answer by RedRowan at 2:44 PM on Nov. 14, 2010