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My SS had a Halloween costume fiasco and now is very upset with BM. (LONG)

SS was with BM for Halloween this year. She brought the costume by Thursday night so he could have it at school for the parade. It was a vampire costume that was a shirt with a cape and a vest attached that was actually pretty cool with a pair of black and gray track pants that had big holes in them and this white undershirt that had stains on it. She had taken the pants and the undershirt from her boyfriend's little brother who is two sizes bigger than SS. So the costume was WAY too small. It was about 1/2 inch above his belly button when he stood straight. He refused to wear the pants and the costume was thin so you could see the stains through it. So we got him a new one. cont.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Nov. 3, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I suspect it isn't the first time he's felt slighted by her. Your only course of action is to reinforce that his BM loves him. She made these choices based on her income..or is it that she's just that way? If it is about income just tell him she did the best she could wiuth what she had. He is likely coming to a pivotal point in his relationship with her. Reinforce that you ALL love him and that parents try and do the best they can. Sometimes it isn't what we want..but it's what we get.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:57 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • He told his mom that the costume didnt fit and we got a new one Thursday night. She cried and said she was sorry and that she had tried and that was the best she could do. Now SS is "very disappointed in my mom and wonder why she can't do any better" He also asked DH "can she not do better, or does she not care enough to try to do better." I think he is blowing this all out of proportion, but what do we say to him without making it seem like we are blowing him off?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I would tell him you understand how he upset, but explain that everyone, even grown ups make mistakes. Tell him she loves him because she took the time and thought of him to do this, even if it didn't turn out in the end.
    lilymama03

    Answer by lilymama03 at 1:50 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Well, he had a really hard time with her last school year because she would stay in bed until he needed to go to school the one day a week she had to take him. So he would get ready without any guidance and would end up at school without brushing his teeth or washing his face. During tball she went to one of the games wearing these booty short and a wife beater with no underwear or bra and you could see her buttchecks and her breasts were hanging out the armholes of the shirt. He told her she had embarrassed him, so she didn't go to anymore of the games period. She got him a bunch of clothes from the consignment store (which is where I shop for his jeans because he tears through them literally in days) that were a size too small and had him wear them to occasions with her friends and family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Nov. 3, 2008