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3 Bumps

My son just declared that all religion is nonsense & he doesn't want to be confirmed.

What do I do? My older daughter rejected our faith (Catholic) from the time she was about 10. I always thought my son had no issues. He "faithfully" attends Mass and religious education each week.

Has anyone else had this issue and how did you deal with it?


Asked by MeggieSwan at 3:09 PM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 15 (2,243 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (29)
  • Accept his decision. He will come back to your faith if it suits him. Or he will follow his own path. You have given him a good foundation and now he needs to find HIS own true path,

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 3:12 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • What do you hope to accomplish by "dealing with it" in the end? Do you want him to lie and go through the motions of the confirmation even though he doesn't believe it just to keep up appearances? If he doesn't feel it, he doesn't feel it, and you can't force him to. Even if you guilt him into it or try to convince him to do it, all that really matters is how he feels about it inside. There's not really anything for you to do - it's up to him.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:18 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Why should he be forced, My son is baptist and was not forced, and willingly accepted Christ into his heart. When you force, and push and force, kids resist. So relax, and let him choose, or when he is 18, he probably will reject religion all together

    Answer by zakityzak at 3:12 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • The confirmation has to be done on his own. I made mine faithfully at 16 to the Catholic religion, but I always had a deep seated dissatisfaction with the Catholic faith, but I love God. It wasn't until I was married and pregnant that I left and became non denominational. I would suggest talking to him, but not pushing him. Ask him if there are any questions he needs answered and tell him to pray on it. Answer what you can and maybe ask a priest or read the Bible to help him with answers. Always pray for him and love him unconditionally whatever he decides.

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 3:17 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I attended parochial school my entire 12 years. When the time came I decided I didn't want to be confirmed. My parents respected that. As an adult I can define my faith as I want. Let him decide.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:19 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I would respect his decision. Honestly, do you want him to 'fake' confirmation? Or do you want it to have meaning for him? Encourage him to talk about what he does believe. Encourage him to take time and think things through. The best path is the one we find for ourselves. Give him time and respect to do that, even if his views dont end up coinciding with yours.

    Answer by Freela at 4:06 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • It is his choice, for whatever reason. Respect it. I've never been sure why some christians seem to feel that it is their god's will that they force others to pretend to be something they aren't. Your son may come back. Or he may find another path. Let it go.

    Answer by witchqueen at 10:49 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Maybe you should have him speak to someone experienced in this with the church. Maybe you should too, just to help you understand some things, and sort some stuff out. Be sensetive to approach so you don't burn any bridges to keep him receptive.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:12 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • He must feel he has the choice to make up his own mind. Were you and your dh confirmed> Does he spend much time with the dd who doesn't care for religion? I don't care for religion myself but am a Christian- to me, it's not about religion and rules, it's about a personal relationship with God.

    Answer by txdaniella at 3:14 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • It is something HE is going to have to live with and if he is old enough to be confirmed, then he does understand what it means and therefore, he should have the right to decide if he wants to or not.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 5:01 PM on Nov. 14, 2010