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5 Bumps

Should I stay or go?

I have been seeing this guy for about 6 months, we have known each other since childhood but we grew up and went out seperate ways, anyways, he found me on FB and we have been together ever since, I have been married twice before and he has never been. I am 44 and he is 45. He told me he doesn't want a serious committed relationship because he doesn't know how to or never had one because he would always leave them after having one night stands. He said I am the only woman he has spent so much time with and he wants a relationship w/me and isn't using me or stringing me along. He is known as a bad boy, has alot of women admirerers which doesn't bug me at all. I told him what I wanted a serious committed relationship and he said within due time he may get there he is falling in love w/me but is scared of getting hurt. My friends are telling me to cut ties and look for someone who is more of my type. Thank you


Asked by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • within due time he may get there he is falling in love w/me but is scared of getting hurt.

    He told you where he stands. If he's never been there before, and is approaching it cautiously, I'd appreciate that. It could make the difference between divorce number 3 and a marriage that works out. I mean 6 months really isn't that long. What's the rush? If you wait a little longer and there's no progress, then move on. But if you absolutely need to move fast then move on because he isn't going to move any quicker.

    Answer by DivaDynamite at 8:58 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Leave. He already said he doesn't want a committed relationship. Your grasping on to something thats not going to happen. He wants to be able to sleep around.

    Answer by Misteh at 5:04 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • if he has NEVER been married and is 45, there is a reason
    he is not the commitment kind of person - for whatever reason - he has never made that kind of committment in his whole life

    maybe step back, and if he is falling in love and possiblely thinking of relationship in the next level - he will then make it known to you

    just my opinion

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:06 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • He's being honest with you. He's not looking for a commitment and he's not sure if he will fall in love with you. You are being unfair to yourself if you are expecting to change him. If you want a committed, lasting relationship, you aren't going to get it from him.

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:13 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • sounds to me like he IS stringing you along...

    Answer by Anna92464 at 5:08 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else! Good luck.

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 5:10 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • i agree with everyone else, leave him and find someone who will be committed to you, good luck

    Answer by meagan678 at 5:21 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I agree, he's single for a reason. Think best to move on.

    Answer by rio_burb at 5:23 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • If you're asking this question, you have doubts. The doubts never go away, they just compound into sleepless nights and eventually anger. Back off on seeing him, start dating others. Life is too short to waste time on people who don't have the same values.

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 5:26 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • There is a reason he's not married at 45. A friend of mine met a guy like this, he was 40...absolutely gorgeous...was a body builder...would open doors for her...he seemed perfect but never married, etc. He too had a lot of female friends and admirers and she thought nothing of it because he seemed so into her. As a previous poster mentioned, there is a reason why a man over 40 hasn't been married and it's usually never good. After they were together for about two years, she found transexual porn on his computer and although he told my friend he loved her and she was the one, she found out the one of his "friends" was a porn movie whore/stripper that he'ld always wanted to get in her pants and once she gave him the time of day, he dumped my friend. Turns out, she was much better of. The guy turned out to be a total loser.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 5:26 PM on Nov. 14, 2010