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How should I bring up this discussion?

My husband is going to school for Law Enforcement in our hometown right now, and I am at the point in school where it's time to look at Grad schools, and I want to go to school in a different state. Im not sure how to bring up the subject because he gets upset whenever I talk about moving away from our families, and I dont want him to have to give up his education here either. Any suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I think you may have to decide what is more important. Your schooling or his and your families. It does not sound like you can do both.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 8:14 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I'm not taking sides with either of you.But if you have kids then you should put them 1st.I'm sure there are grad schools closer to you than leaving the state.I can't blame your hub for getting upset with you.I'm not bashing you,but you need to put your family 1st.

    Answer by alisha34886 at 8:16 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • That's a hard one. You are both working on educations to better yourselves and your family. How much longer does he have? Can you put off going to grad school till he finishes his schooling? Is there a grad school nearby with your major? You need to sit down with him and have a long talk about where both of your careers are going and decide the best way to accomplish both. Is there a good law enforcement program either where you want to go or nearby? Could he transfer his credits if he did go? You need to weigh the pros and cons of all the options you might have. GL!

    Answer by kmath at 8:23 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • you said in your question that you "want" to go to school in a different state. Does this mean that there are closer grad schools that you just don't want to go to? If your husband in in the middle of schooling then has a job lined up for when he is finished it sounds a little selfish to me if you are able to do grad school from where you are. I know a lot of grad schools have multiple campuses in different towns as well. If your husband can finish school and easily find a job in the town that you are wanting to go to grad school then I say that your wants are just as important as his. I understand that he doesn't want to move away from family-I was the same way with my husband when we had to move for his job but it turned out to be the best thing for our relationship.

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 8:24 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • well I dont know but you could wait till he was done with school and than go together. you can do what you want though.

    Answer by EliasMommyDec09 at 8:28 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • just sit down with him and say we need to come up with a plan. listen to what he has to say before you make up your mind. then it's time for compromise. if going to school out of state is that important to you then maybe postpone it until everyone can move with you. if it's not that important then go to school closer to home. the key is to compromise. maybe he's mad because you bring it up as if you have your mind made up already.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:32 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I think it's just one of those things that will not have everyone happy
    if u have kids u should stay
    if there are good grad schools in the area u should stay
    if there are good l.e. schools he is interested in u could go
    someone has to give a little in this decision but it does need to be talked about
    it just won't be a very pleasant conversation

    Answer by gottalovemal at 8:37 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Can't you find a grad school closer to home so you can both continue forward with your goals and remain a family together?

    Answer by DivaDynamite at 8:45 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • he has 2 years left and it would be right around the time that i would be going to grad school...he's not likely to get a job in the area we are in now because it is really small and there are limited spaces for hire. And i am not saying i want to leave my husband, or my son, i want us all to stay together - the nearest grad school to us is 4 hours away. but the ones out of state that ive looked at offer more of what I am looking for. I know that we need to sit down and discuss all our options, I was just looking for some people who may have been through it before and had any advice. I wasnt trying to seem selfish - my family is the most important thing to me. I would not jeopardize it for anything.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:19 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

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