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Would you tell an ex that you had a miscarriage?

A friend of mine had a miscarriage recently. She thinks that she HAS to tell her ex about it, even though she knows that he never wanted children and that it would probably start a fight. She thinks that by telling him, he'll want to get back together. She found out she was pregnant the day he broke up with her, and miscarried about a week later (I think). What would you do? I wouldn't, knowing him and the way he treated her. The first time she miscarried with him, he threw a fit about how she had gotten pregnant and it was all her fault (she was on the shot at the time, I think), like she got herself pregnant.

 
Mrs.BAT

Asked by Mrs.BAT at 10:50 PM on Nov. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 38 (105,028 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Sounds like someone has some issues..but sucks that she miscarried.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 6:13 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I would tell my ex, only if it was his child. If not, no. It would be pointless. I also wouldn't tell him strictly on the basis that he would "get back together with me" because I think the chances of that happening would be slim/none. Men don't have the same kind of "sympathy detectors" that women do..and often times, they will brush it off.
    Natalies3girls

    Answer by Natalies3girls at 10:53 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I would tell my ex, only because that woudl be the right thing to do. I would tell him and that would be the end of the conversation and talking to him.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:56 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • if she needs this to try to get back together with him...she has some issues to wrok through
    sounds like a very unhealthy relationship

    she wants him back?? sad, what would make her think this would bring him closer to her, from past history saounds like she could be even harmed by him. she needs to call a women's shelther for soem free therapy for abused women - this kind of thinking is thought from an abused woman

    just my opinion
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:01 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • You are absolutely right flatpax. She's been abused in one way or another her entire life (as have I, which is how we first became friends). This guy was the perfect definition of emotional abuser. I think she thinks that he'll come back to her because they've had an on again off again relationship for several years.
    Mrs.BAT

    Comment by Mrs.BAT (original poster) at 11:07 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Did he know about the pregnancy in the first place? If he did, then I would tell him and move on.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 11:20 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • No, she found out the day he broke up with her and she didn't tell him because she thought that he would reconsider and get back together with her or something. Now that she's lost the baby, she thinks that telling him about him/her will change her ex's mind about their relationship.
    Mrs.BAT

    Comment by Mrs.BAT (original poster) at 11:23 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • If she never told him that she was pregnant in the first place then really there is no need to tell him she lost the pregnancy. He's not going to care reguardless and she'll just end up hurt and broken again.
    I'd would advise her to just leave it be and walk away from him. There ARE great guys out there! But you attract what you put out... so if she thinks she's a loser then that's who she';ll meet, losers.
    MyIslandGirls

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 11:49 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • No, I wouldn't and I wouldn't have been pregnant either. She has a screw loose.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 12:23 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

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