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7 Bumps

My husband told me tonight...

That he admires other women. He said that looking or admiring are the same thing. To me they are not. I am very insecure and upset about my baby weight still being a issue. Am I crazy? He said that he admires womans bodies when trying to fix his statement which only made it worse. I think he shouldnt be admiring another woman when he is married....Looking is one thing...to admire...not so much.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • In my opinion, if you admire someone else, it's just as bad as cheating. Period. That's unacceptable.
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 1:14 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I think you may be over reacting a little. Like you said you are insecure about your own looks right now (totally been there!!) so of course you don't want to hear about him looking at or admiring other women, but really what is he going to do? Sometimes a guy is going to look and there's really nothing anybody can do about it... but i do think he can be respectful... which it sounds like he was trying to be. :)
    young-not-dumb

    Answer by young-not-dumb at 1:16 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • i feel differently. I dont think people can just turn that off. maybe ive just never been in a really special relationship so i admit I might be totally off but in my experience, i've never been able to turn off attraction to other guys... I think its just human nature to be attracted to another human.. maybe you admit you are attracted to another person but you have no urge or desire to do more than accept that you find them attractive.

    but again, ive never had a super special close relationship, and its late so i might not have explained it right,
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 1:19 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I don't know...I guess I kind of agree with your husband. If a guy is looking at a women they are either admiring, indifferent or thinking something mean....imo. I don't know how you can look at someone and not prepare on opinion on how they look. Just becasue you admire how someone looks does not mean you are wishing you were with them! I admire how other women look and I am straight, I just think some bodies are beautiful and deserve admiration!
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 1:21 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I think it is normal to look and compare. He might admire them but I bet he still thinks you look better. My dh is always noticing things about women and he immediately tells me lol. He'll be like,"Look at that tramp stamp!!" He comments about their weight and height and hair...you name it. He's not lusting after them, just observing. Your dh is probably doing the same but worded it wrong.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 1:21 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • There is a big difference between looking and admiring..even my Husband doesn't do anything more than notice and look away. We check out women Together, though..but We still respect each other.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 1:26 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Oh, gosh..I got voted down. lmao.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 2:03 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Even though looking is just as wrong, we are human and we all look but yes, I would be hurt if my DH told me he admired other women because it is more than looking.
    Tell him how much it hurt you and why. If he is being open with you be open back and together you two can fix this hurt.
    DonnaPinitonya

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 2:11 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I also think your over reacting, if you were more secure about yourself I dont think it would bother you this much
    mzprincessreina

    Answer by mzprincessreina at 2:12 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • that's not right he should respect you more than that!!
    Ericaca

    Answer by Ericaca at 2:57 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

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