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Am I wrong to be offended?

My mom basically just hung up the phone on me because I told her it was rude for her to bring her own turkey to Christmas dinner (I said I was planning on making a ham this year and would make her one of those turkey breast things so she wouldn't have to eat it).

She brought her own stuffing last year because she didn't think she was going to like mine (that's not the reason she gave but whatever).

I feel like if you are going to come to someones house for a big meal or anything then you eat what is served and are grateful. I told her last year that it hurt my feelings with her bringing a dish I was already making. It's one thing if you want to ask to bring something not on the menu so to speak but to bring a "competing" dish I think is just insulting and rude.

I'm so upset right now, and probably more so than I should be 'cause the hormones are a-ragin' but am I wrong to be offended by this?


Asked by Xynyth at 2:44 PM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Food & Drink

Level 16 (2,659 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I don't think she is intending to be rude. I think maybe she is feeling misplaced, because she is not the main meal provider any more, or possibly she is finicky and worried about not having anything to eat that she enjoys. Either way, I don't think it is something worth fighting over, especially if you're already stressed and hormonal, and especially during the holidays, when everyone is usually already stretched to their limits. It can lead you to saying things you don't mean but can't take back.
    Better to skip making a turkey breast yourself and just let her bring turkey. If you want her to bring something else, come out and say so. Wishing people would do things we want them to do without us telling them usually just ends up in resentment. Better to lay your cards on the table.
    Good luck!

    Answer by jespeach at 6:25 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • You're not wrong to be ofended. You are entitled to your emotions whether they may be over the top or not. Is she bringing enough for everyone or just for her? Either way yes I think it's rude to bring something because she does'nt like what you're making without asking you first. If it were a "Hey darling daughter I'm going to bring a Turkey to Christmas Dinner to compliment your ham" then yes I would think maybe you were acting like crazy pregnant woman. If it was anything besides that scenario I think you're completly on target with your reaction.

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Id be pissed. I go through the hard work of cooking for my family and then someone makes a sandwhich, it PISSES me off. Was she going to bring a WHOLE turkey?

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 2:52 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Well it was somewhere between what you wrote and how I'm reacting I know... *sigh*

    Answer by Xynyth at 2:52 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Yes she want's to bring a whole precooked turkey to dinner.

    Answer by Xynyth at 2:53 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • thats wrong for her to bring a whole turkey.. i dont mind if family asks to bring a side dish but not a main course.... GL with ur mom just tell her no and quit being a picky eater... if my mom dont like my food she suffers through it to make me feel better!!

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 3:35 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I even offered to make her one of those boneless turkey breast things you can get instead of a regular turkey... Everyone else coming to diner is fine with ham but she seems to think everyone would prefer turkey. Ugh. Even my husband is pissed by it.

    Answer by Xynyth at 3:45 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • i would say not to let her come but thats kinda mean too but its not nice for her to do that....

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 4:09 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I just wish she could see that.

    Answer by Xynyth at 4:19 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • When my family has a big dinner we all bring something and sometimes we have two of the same thing but that just means more food. Mabey she feels she needs to be included because she did it for so many years? Good luck.

    Answer by JonahsMom1107 at 5:14 PM on Nov. 3, 2008