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How do I?

How do i bring up the question to my fiance that i don't think i'd be comfortable parenting his kids(as far as disapline, giving them permission to do stuff like go with friend) without it seeming like, i don't feel comfortable being a parent to his kids. His kids are ages 8, 11, 14, 16. So its also unfamilar territory with me as far as kids are concerned, my son is only 2. I love him, and his kids are great, im just not that comfortable with that kind of stuff because i am somewhat close to there age, im 22.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:37 AM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Speaking as a stepmother. Its a hard thing. The longer you are with your fiancee the easier it becomes to start to think of his kids as your own. I have been with my fiancee for 7yrs and there are times(although rare) that i am still uncomfortable with disiplining his oldest daughter.

    Answer by stacy197866 at 10:34 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Your age isn't and shouldn't be a issues with you or the children. I am a step-mother to a 13 yr old and 10 yr old. 13yr old SS lives with us and I have had to step into that role it's comes to you I am 33 and my DD is also 2 so you need to talk things over with your hubby and lay it all out on the table.

    Answer by raemommy at 4:45 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I just feel like his kids aren't going to respect me at least his oldest two, i think i could hadle the younger two.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:53 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Why are you asking how to talk to your fiance? You are going to marry this man.. You should know how to talk to him.. Tell him exactly how you feel.. If you can't be honest with the man you love, why marry him?

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 5:48 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • It may seem awkward now but in time I think you''ll get used to it. Despite their ages you are the adult and they are the minors,if they need permission to do something and dad isn't around use your best judgement or call him. I would explain to your fiance that your a little uncomfortable, maybe that way he will let you know ahead of time how he would respond to certain requests they may have like "can I go to the mall" Better you know up front then, trying to decide if you made the right decision. Best of luck!

    Answer by anichols1 at 5:49 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • My boyfriend has pretty much given me the role to ok things. When I'm asked by the 14 or 11 yr old I always make sure that they've checked with their dad, just to be on the safe side. Usually I'm the one taking them whereever it is their going, but while I'm 28, I've gotten used to being in that role. I have no kids of my own though so it has been pretty unchartered territory.

    Answer by lmarvick at 8:41 AM on Nov. 15, 2010