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holiday dinner blending of step children

Hi We are engaged 2 yearwe are both widows I have 18 and 16 yr old he has 18 yr old. We want to spend holiday dinner together 18 yr old boys dont. I must be with my famil 80 yr old mom and others. He has sisiter inlaw and mother inlaw. he always did the cooking for his family then wife died and he kept doing holidays Now he should be with me right??

His inlaw dont care to be with me we never met wish is fine but what to do with his son he has to chose who to be with . any ideas moms Dont want kids to be unhappy but I would like to be happy too. torn what to do?

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Asked by suesues at 7:29 AM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Holidays

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Why don't you talk to both boys & ask hem what they would be OK with & try to compromise.

    Also, the boys are 18 now. I remember at that age, there were times i was not around for Thanksgiving. I would not worry if they sat this one out. They both lost parents & are probably still trying to figure out all their emotions.

    If neither of the boys will cooperate, then don't worry about it. Talk it over with your fiance, you guys do what you want to do...and if the boys want to join...good, if not, then they don't have to. Eventually they'll get used to the situation. But, don't put your lives on hold because of what your adult son's want. Do what YOU want. If they're mature enough to be OK with it, good. If they still don't want to come, don't force it. They are adults now...they're aloud to make the choice.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:36 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Get with your DF and find out what you two are going to do. Then TELL the kids and other family members what is going to happen. If they do not like it. They do not need to come then.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:40 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Explain to your fiance that you need to be with your family, and then tell the kids and his family what you will be doing for the holidays. It doesn't sound like they are interested in having a separate celebration, but you could offer to host one at your home as well?

    I'm sorry you are going through this, teenagers are tough.

    Answer by Scuba at 7:58 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • At 18 they can decide for themselves how to spend the holidays.

    Answer by salexander at 11:04 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

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