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WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE??

My husband works night shift.. but gets home normally between 11-2 2:30 the latest.. but here is the thing.. He doesnt really have a hard job.. i mean he works and I am in no way putting down his job but I do more staying at home with our 2 year old... and I am 36 and 5 days preggo.. so I am just wondering when I can get some help here.. I mean I normally can't sleep until he gets here..and even then being preggers I haven't been sleeping at all anyways.. so I am up until he goes to bed so we go to bed at the same time.. and normally I dont sleep then I have to wake up EVERY MORNING with our 2 yr old... take care of her/play with her ALL DAY LONG and then when she goes to bed I am cleaning up after the day.. when he gets home I spend a little time with him and then we go to bed.. but HE gets to sleep in everyday. NOW I dont mind this most days but sometimes I just wish he would help at least ONCE in a blue moon. CONT

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 9:13 AM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I understand your point totally i just went through this. the best thing to do is OPEN UP and SAY something men are kinda slow they cant read our minds and half the time they dont know when they are doing something wrong. tell him that not only do you need help around the house but you would like your 2y/o to have soem "play" time iwth him as well hell you need some damn rest! hope that helps!
    jazmya_mom

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 9:25 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Have you shared this with him? Maybe he's not seeing this? When I want my husband to get up with them for once, I wake him up and tell him to go get the baby.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:17 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • You have just asked the age-old ques. that many moms wonder about- and have yet to find a reasonable solution for it! Nagging is only a short term solution (at least at our house) Just "letting it go" w/ the hope they will notice & take it upon themselves to help clean, fix, etc. NEVER WORKS! -Most men are "Clutter-blind"! Bottom line for you at this time, you need more rest. Nap when your 2 y/o naps so you are able to stay up when he gets home. As for him pitching in-good luck sister- if you figure out a way- please let me know!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:18 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Tell him how you feel. Let him know that a household is 50/50 between the adults.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:27 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • especially on the nights that he has off or the nights he gets home early.. is that too much to ask to let me get a little rest?
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 9:14 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • What does he say when you ask him for help?
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:15 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Even if he doesn't have a hard job, just being "on the job" is wearing and makes him tired. If you can't sleep, then this is not his problem. But he should help you out if you are miserable.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:16 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • How about a compromise - once a week (or whatever you are both comfortable with), have him get up with the toddler. He works outside the home, you work within it, they are both hard jobs and you both need to get your rest. Talk to him about how you feel, and get something worked out before the new baby comes because it's going to get tougher.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:18 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • SO he's kinda like 2nd 3 rd shift, That is a hard work time... I'm assuming you asked him for extra help. The only thing i can think of is maybe you should try to get to bed b4 he comes home,, Then on his days off , when the baby gets up wake him up and ask him to let you sleep in. When he gets off work leave him a note asking him to throw in a load of laundry or wash up the dishes , sometimes people need a list to know how to help you.
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 9:20 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • i know being on the job is wearing.. but he literally sits there and watches football most nights while I am home chasing our daughter.. fixing dinner.. giving her her bath brushing her teeth etc.. and its not always easy.. she doesnt always willing do these things.. i dont think he isnt tired but i do think that if he jsut sits there and watches football knowing that I have done all this the night before and gets home early enough he should offer to help especially since he knows i dont normally sleep at night. and it is HIS problem sweetheart.. my problems are his problems ;)
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 9:20 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

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