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Why do I let myself cry for something that never really was?

It is Independence day and I want to go out and watch fireworks like a family. Sit on a hll and cuddle and hold hands and oooh and ahhhh and watch the wonder of my daughter while knowing how much her father loves me just by looking in his eyes as he puts his arms around me....

Fairy tale.

Never happened, and yet I am sitting her crying, nostalgic for something that never was. He was never one for celebrating holidays... at least not with me. Perhaps with that is what he did with his girlfriend on ths side, I don't know. All I know is that I am sad, and I am missing him for something that he never game me. Stupid.

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Asked by Inial at 11:37 PM on Jul. 4, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • You realize it, it is not too late to stop the sadness! Cheer up, my dear!

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 1:49 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • You need to make a list of the pro's and con's of the relationship and if you are like me will find out that he never really contributed anything to the relationship other than pain! You will then realize that you are worth more than that! Don't settle for less than you deserve! By hanging on to this old baggage.. you are not allowing room for a good Man to come into your life and a healthy relationship to develope! You need to put your faith in God and your self worth! Happiness will follow! This kind of Man can only do to you what you allow him to do! Set some boundaries and enforce them! At this point you are probably only wanting what you can't have because somehow you think that if he rejects you... you are not worthy(worthless).. Not so! You need to know that you deserve all the happiness in the world! Be patient and happiness will come, just not with him! Start praying in detail for the exact kind of Man you want! God will answer your prayers!

    Answer by ColoWildFire at 2:29 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I was just reading tonight John Gray's book on Venus and Mars Dating and he was talking about women choosing the wrong man. He says that sometimes we women are attracted to the fantasy of the man and not the man himself. It goes on to say she can be attracted to the illusion of who she thinks he is. Obviously, he is not who you thought he is or what he could fulfill in you. It's ok to grieve the loss of what you had hoped for. Many of us believe in the fairy tale of finding Prince Charming and living happily ever after. Continue to search for your Prince bc this dude is evidently just a frog. You deserve better than warts from him. Find peace young one. Cut him loose and set your sites for a better man just for you and your daughter. (p.s. been there done that)

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:37 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • My dear, that is not stupid at all! That is a vision for your future! Not with him but with a man that is commited to you and your child through thick and thin. A man who will care for and support his family every day of the year. The man who will hold your hand one fourth of July and celebrate every holiday for the rest of your lives together! Do what you need to do to find that man honey. I believe he is out there looking for you.

    Answer by manna1qd at 3:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

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