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WWYD?

My SIL bought my dd $70 worth of gifts at a rummage sale, the gifts were for her b-day. After the gifts were given to my child I found out that my dh's brother was upset with his wife for spending money on his niece. I was told that he called my MIL to vent and that they both proceeded to talk crap about how we must not be able to take care of our child properly if we had to accept the rummage gifts and how I'm a POS for being a sahm.

Anyways, we're supposed to stay with MIL over the Thanksgiving holiday and both dh and I were pretty pissed. He wanted to go and then pay MIL for the plates we ate so that she wouldn't complain about us being moochers any more. I tried to talk things through with MIL over the phone and that seemed to help.......until I found out that she called BIL to talk more crap about me the moment we hung up the phone.

So now everyone in that family (besides my dh) is mad at me. CONT...

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-xoxo-

Asked by -xoxo- at 9:27 AM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (226 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • CONT: BIL called here screaming at my dh, telling him that I'm a b!tch for calling his mother to talk and the SIL is mad because she's the one who told me that everyone hates me and she feels betrayed. It's a big old cycle of crazy stupidity and I don't want to deal with it. I want to stay home for Thanksgiving, I would rather sit on my butt and eat ramen. Dh wants to visit his family and he wants me to go with. WWYD? Mostly I just don't understand why they can talk badly about me but I'm not allowed to stand up for myself and my family when I find out. They should be mad at themselves for the way they act, not at me for asking them politely why they act the way that they do.

    -xoxo-

    Comment by -xoxo- (original poster) at 9:29 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would tell him that unless they can apologize for their actions and can stop talking shit then I'm not going ANYWHERE now am I speaking to ANYONE.

    And then I would explain tot hem what a GIFT is. And WHY people give gifts. SOME PEOPLE care about the person they are giving them to and just want them to be happy for goodness sake!

    Maybe ask them if they need the money back if it will make her husband happy.

    Good luck.

    Personally, I wouldn't be going. I'd h=rather stay home and have a small family meal and be HAPPY than stressed out.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:51 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • *not going anywhere nor speaking to anyone
    *I'd rather (last paragraph)

    Sorry for the typos, lol
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:53 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • :( sorry you are going through this. 1st ? i have is why on earth would your DH still want to go? This is his family starting crap with HIS family.. if you get what I am saying... 2nd. i he sitll wants to go.. i wouldnt go with him. i wouldnt speak to ANYONE on that side until they became adults and stopped running their mouth like they were in elementary school and apologized. 3rd. i would tell your hubby that Thanksgiving is supposed to be surrounded by people and things you are thankful for. so I would go buy a turkey and tell him that YOU and the KIDS are staying at home to be thankful for the love between your family and also for the things he works so hard to make sure you guys have. I wouldnt even step foot in their house. his mom seems very immature and i personally wouldnt want to be around 2 faced people.
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 9:53 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • As much as I would not want to be there I would go if for no other reason than to show a united front with your husband. Try talking to him some more about it but if still insists on going I would go with him. I don't understand why he would still want to go though and if I were him I would be having some serious conversations with all of them before Thanksgiving.
    batsbelfry

    Answer by batsbelfry at 10:19 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would not go if I was you. It sounds like an uncomfortable situation...however, it would be really awkward if your s/o went without you so it is important to be on the same page with him at least. Maybe he should be the one confronting his family and he'll understand what you're talking about better.
    JJsMoMMy519

    Answer by JJsMoMMy519 at 10:26 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • When dh found out what his family was saying about us he looked so hurt and angry, I saw tears welling up in his eyes from the rage. He chooses to hold it in though, he vents to me a bit but that's about it. I suffer from severe anxiety and the thought of staying with those people for a long weekend made me want to have a panic attack. I was so very polite when talking to MIL, I just tried to smooth things over and she seemed super nice and understanding over the phone. I can't believe she called my BIL to talk more crap about me the moment I hung up with her. BIL feels that I should've just held my feelings in, that I had no right to try and smooth things over with him and MIL. Dh says that we should still go but we can leave if anyone says anything. I'd rather he went with the kids and left me alone at home. I'll eat ramen with the dog.

    -xoxo-

    Comment by -xoxo- (original poster) at 10:33 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Tell him to go by himself. I would be livid if he wasn't doing shit about how he's family is treating you. Why spend a nice holiday around two face ass holes? I'm not going to go and play nice when they won't. Stay home and cook yourself a nice small homemade Thanksgiving.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:25 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I wouldn't go. If I'm not wanted then I'm not going to force myself upon them. It would give them something more to get mad over. Don't know why they have a thing against you, but it would good to disinvite yourself. If your dh wants to go, then he can go alone and deal with his family. But there is nothing in this world that's going to make me sit with a bunch of a-hole family members for a f'ing meal. I'd have to be handcuffed to the chair.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:44 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Maybe, they will apologize, who knows!
    joysweet

    Answer by joysweet at 12:03 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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