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Would you do this?

Would you be upset if your 12 yo dd went on a overnight (stay up all night) w/a church group but didn't call you when you requested her to SOME TIME THAT NIGHT??OR if he/she left his/her cell phone off 'on purpose' so that you or your husband couldn't reach him/her??? Mine did this and she has lost her phone for a week. What would you do or say? I told her if there was an emergency there would be no way of getting hold of her but mostly because she is the sneaky type that wants to be in this world to JUST HAVE FUN, W/OUT ANY ADULT SUPERVISION.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Nov. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I would be upset. Probably would have taken the phone away for more than a week and grounded her from activities as well. It's disrespectful of her to act that way.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:41 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • could you not call the church...like an emergency line. I would think that the church would provide that for an overnight, incase parents or kids do not have cell phones. How well does your daughter mind? She could have ditched the church thing and stayed else where. I would call the church staff to see if she was present at the sleepover if you haven't done it yet. Even 12 yo are rebellious these days. Our fifteen yo daughter is driving us crazy with the eye roles and the closed doors...but one more week of it and we are taking her door knob off to her bedroom door, works every time!!!
    CowboyMama

    Answer by CowboyMama at 9:49 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Yes, it is upsetting. They are going to test the limits and see how much they can get away with. I think you did the right thing by taking it away. Next time, I would make sure that I have another phone number, of the adult in charge, whether it's the parent at a sleep over, or whoever is in charge at a church function. Not just her negligence, but she might be somewhere that there's no service, and they also may be asked to turn them off by the adult in charge, so they aren't all sitting there texting.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 9:56 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • i would be pissed and my dd's both know it ......and i would have taken the phone for longer than a week.....now on the flip side if it was a church function i would have had the name and numbers for the adults that where supervising the thing....and only contacted them if there was a need....some times we do have to let kids be kids........
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:05 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I think you did the right thing. I probably would have called the church line or one of the chaperones to check up on her as well, and also ground her from further activities. I wouldn't play around with it at all.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 10:09 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Honestly, I wouldn't have nor would I have required them to call me. For one they where with a church group, if something happened I would have expected the chaperon to call me. Second your child is reaching the teenage years, how are you going to handle it? Are you going to hoverand try to control every situation or decision they are going to make. These next years can be stressful and heartbreaking. Teenagers are trying to define who they are which is defined by their choices, not ours. It's time to give them some space and opportunity to make decisions on their own, try not to smother or your in for some very hard years ahead.
    ThaSs

    Answer by ThaSs at 10:16 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • she is 12 years old,just about to be a teen...she is going to wanna run wild and its going to be kinda hard to get her to settle down if you dont stop her now! there are so many ways to do it....my dad got worried about me when i was younger and i was rebeling so to speak...i snuck out of the house at like 2 a.m. and my dad found out....the next day and he took me to the morgue to see a girl who snuck out and was killed....i never did it again!!! it scared me badly....
    SMALLfry05

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 11:21 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Frankly I agree with ThaSs. I would not have required her to call me, nor would I have tried to call her. Unless you believe she left the church group, why would you be trying to contact her? Just to check in and see if she's ok? This sounds like you don't trust her. I would think if something was wrong, the chaperones would have called you. In the future, maybe get the number of one of the chaperones in case of an emergency.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 11:28 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • At a church function I don't think I would have made her call me, but I would expect her to answer or get back to me shortly when I called her cell.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:33 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would ground her for a month. All she is allowed to do is go to school and come home. No phone, no computer.
    And if she tried to break THAT too, I would drive her to school, walk her to class, and be waiting outside her classroom when school got out. She needs to know I am MOM, and what I say goes.
    It doesnt matter where she was, who she was with, the fact is you asked her to do something and she didnt. Thats disrespect. She needs to know... Even when I was OVER 18, if my parents asked me to call them once every 3 days, I did, no question.
    I say, NIP IT IN THE BUTT NOW. Stand your ground, and let her know who is the boss...
    (And I agree with PP, get the number of a chaperone for an event like that, for these very reasons)
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 11:41 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

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