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My man wants to do what ever it takes to get back together? What would you do?

He is a great man in ways-one woman man, secure-he will take care of us, loving in a not so sweet way-meaning not romantic but tries, he does not show his feelings much, but I know he loves us-you know men are not suppose to cry type.

We separated in July and last night he said he don't know what too do? He loves us so much and he wants to be with us. He is very jealous, controlling we were raised diffrently, he never hit on us, but he is like military style and I am the total opposite. More laid back!!!

I just wanted him to meet in the middle, He finally said I will look into therapy. Horray, but I know I can't rush it, so I am not but how do I handle it from here. Any advice.

I am thinking if we could be a family again and he wants to change but has to change before we ever get back together-it could take years. What should I do? We will not be back together any time soon but How do would you handle this?

 
KFree907

Asked by KFree907 at 10:44 AM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I would get premarriage counseling or couples counseling before I would allow him back in. Once shame on you; twice shame on me.

    I AGREE WITH depressedmom65.

    If you already, have children, this behavoir "can really hurt them" :(


    I would be careful,...........................

    HONEY,
    The older I have gotton......little stuff, is not important ♥♥♥♥♥

    It is family, unconditional love, and just being there.....The dishs, can wait, beds made up every-day...
    in 2 years no one will care.

    you and your family need to enjoy, each-other........♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    Contact me, if you would like to talk more ♥♥♥♥♥
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 10:38 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • If you both want to save the marriage then I would say take it slow. Stay in separate houses (for now), have him go to therapy (and maybe you can attend some sessions with him?). I would also suggest dating each other- get to know each other and use the time to talk things out. Both of you be prepared to listen to the other, and be willing to work on compromising and making changes. I would not move back home a(or let him move back) until you feel that he is making an effort and you feel that things are going well and you trust it will work out. I wish you luck!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:51 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I wouldn't.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 10:48 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Are you married to my husband? Sounds just like my marriage. I tried making it work for the past 2 years and he hasn't budged and he refuses to seek counseling. I finally gave up and I'm leaving. I hope the best for you. He's willing to go to counseling and that says a lot. Maybe be cautious about it. Put one foot in at a time. Don't jump in with both feet and give up all your hopes. I hope it works at for you.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:20 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • yeah if both of you want to work out your marriage then take it slow go to counseling & therapy talk to each other see where it goes but if it doesnt work out good luck & you will find love again
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:02 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would get premarriage counseling or couples counseling before I would allow him back in. Once shame on you; twice shame on me.
    depressedmom65

    Answer by depressedmom65 at 1:30 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • My dear if he has all those other pluses going for him and he hasn't cheated so you can still trust him, which is one of the most important things and you still love him, then please, give it a chance and not for anyone else but yourself. Make sure he understands the negatives that causes the initial breakup and is willing to do whatever it takes to come to a common ground, then go for it and never look back.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:06 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • One step at a time. Try by getting to know each other again. Go out on dates and work from there. If he's willing to try then it's something worth fighting for.
    stacy197866

    Answer by stacy197866 at 10:18 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Give details to why or why not.

    I want it too work, but I want to hear the good and bad. How too handle it? Having kids and a family makes it worth the while of trying everything and I mean everything to bring our home back together.

    Its not like he said you can't go out, or can't do this and that. I went out, did what ever but you can tell he was not too happy about it and he has to get over it. He would sulk and pout for 2 days but got over it.

    If therapy works and that could take years, I am willing to fight for our relationship, we have 4 kids and love one another alot.
    KFree907

    Comment by KFree907 (original poster) at 10:57 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would give him a chance. I wouldn't want to have any regrets later in life. You know those "what if" questions. If you still love him go for it.
    Like someone else said just go real slow.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 12:04 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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