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How do you handle your own grief around your young children?

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DragonRiderMD

Asked by DragonRiderMD at 12:30 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,603 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I think it's OK to show your grief. My BIL died unexpectantly 2 years ago. They saw plenty of grief. I think it would be bad to hide it. It's a normal reaction.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 12:44 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I show my children greif and we talk about it in a way they can understand. Recently my DD was very sick and almost died. Her brothers had to deal with a lot and we talked alot about our feelings and how it was okay to cry. I think the most important thing is to be honest with them in a way that they can understand. If someone dies, you can talk to them and cry in front of them you just need to also talk to them so they understand why you are sad or crying.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 12:53 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I agree with the other two posters. As long as you explain how you are feeling it is OK to show your grief. It shows how deeply you care. Point these things out to your children and tell them you will not always feel so sad. That it takes time .
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 12:59 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • It depends on the situation.

    1) Personal greif over something related to work, money, bills, etc. I play it off and act as if it does not exist as much as a greif in my life as it does. Monetarily, I might try to explain in ways my older child(ren) can understand so that they know to learn about these issues for when they are an adult. But if it not something I see them learning a life experience from... I act as normal as I can in order to save my children from carrying a burden that isn't their own.

    2) Personal grief over loss of family member or something more serious and related to the child's life. I try to explain the situation in a way they can understand and try to stay as strong as possible for them and try to teach them how to work through such grief in life. How to not allow it to take over your life and how to move past it.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 1:21 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • They learn by watching you. Its okay for them to see you sad and crying over the loss of a loved one. They learn empathy, and they learn it's okay to cry. Answer their questions as simply as you can, depending on their ages. Let them talk about it. Let them ask questions.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 2:54 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • If you have need to show emotions its ok to show them in front of your kids, you just need to make sure you explain to them how you are feeling and the reason why you are feeling this way. You want your children to know that its ok to show how you are feeling and for them to know its nothing that they did
    butterflymama23

    Answer by butterflymama23 at 3:09 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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